I want to talk to you, can't lie
Losing sight of what matters the most
Back into my house, keys in, opened the door
Preface: I moved away from Washington when I was 10 years old and resided in four other locations before returning at age 29. This situation combined with my emotional attachment to the following quote laid the foundation for my poem of experiencing the childhood I never had.
Every time I leave to search for my happy, my meaning & my purpose of why Im still stuck here.
I knew a man who I loved once (and love still).
An Adonis with dark eyes, dark thoughts, with a warm heart. I fell in love with the way his spirit
romanticized my soul from the beginning. We played around with our hearts forgotten and frayed
in a frivolous kind of situation.
This isn't one of my good days because I've been depressed, irrational, emotional and hypomanic suffering from insomnia for the last three days. Mom's been over for the fourth time today, fiddling with the shower curtains and the rod to Feng Shui my motivation to shower and shave. Unfortunately, I am a slave to this psychological menace inside me because it has nearly eradicated spirit and won't let go of me. I'm crying out for help and I wish those of you could hear me. I'm trying to tell you what I can with the words in my poems and share what this is doing to me; preferably before this condition takes full control of me.
Does the color of our love offend you?
Using sexual pleasure in exchange for love but after it's over wondering why it's still not enough.
I'm in the shower and I start thinking to myself, 'If only I could wash the problems from my life the way I wash dirt from my skin'. Could I possibly efface the trauma in my soul, deep within? I don't know where to begin. Maybe I should start by loving myself. Stop trying to please the guy or girl who can't love me, the family who for some reason thinks they're above me and learn to recognize my value; I am a queen the likes of which no one has ever seen, a diamond in the rough ready to polished so that I gleam.