Summer Sun Kisses

by Esther M 9 months ago in heartbreak

"Your love is a distant memory."

Summer Sun Kisses

Your love is a distant memory.

You left when I was nine, but I'm still reminded of the times you were still there.

Sometimes it's when the sun kisses my face and I feel the heat burn on my brown hair that shines like red in the summer.

Or the smell of pool water with the scent of chlorine, wash down our skin, but it never changed our color.

We never needed the sunscreen that they offered us anyway.

I used to look just like you, your brown little girl with big eyes and long hair, but when you left so did my colors.

I missed your love like a distant memory.

I would stay home in the Summers and cry myself to sleep, in dark rooms where my only friend was silver pencil that wrote on my skin with red.

Your love has left, like how my melanin has left my skin.

I also remember you with the songs that you used to sing that weren't yours, but it was so clear when I listen to it again.

I hear your voice.

It taunts me like whispers of hate onto myself because of the shame you brought to me.

You're looks that you have cursed me with, is imprinted on me like a coat cruella davila's only possibly evil for.

Reminding me of the sin you did and I am paying for.

Like a priest taking on the burden of all the people's confessions.

I wonder how they can live with themselves every day anyway.

How do they not feel convicted of the mud they've created in the pits of lies.

They drag it into the cathedral, over to the holy image of God and swear they have not sinned.

I barely know how to half live my life, because I'm caring the rest of yours.

You made me have to drop the rest of my child hood of summer sun kisses, poolside chlorine smell that we didn't need to worry about because it didn't wash out our color, or sunscreen that we never needed.

But that only lasted in the distant memorise.

I had to leave the sun, because of the shame you brought to me on my skin.

I carried you on with scars that could describe the pain you left.

You were gone in the summer, that's when You left me when I was 9.

I correct myself again you are my distant nightmare memory.

I'm glad that I can finally shed your skin off like a snake, because that's maybe what I needed.

I needed to find my own shade of love.

I'm sorry, but I'm leaving you like a distant memory for this last summer.

Not like the summer when you left and not to the summers we had.

This summer is mine this time, you've had too much already for never deserving it.

-summer sun kisses

Esther M
Esther M
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