Still and always

I still think about you

Every. Single. Day.

I would try to stop,

but the sweet familiar sting of pain

lets me know I'm still alive.

My heart cracked open for you.

Something it had not done in years.

It had been locked up and barred,

kept sheltered from constant abuse.

But with a simple hello from you,

a rift was created,

and you slipped inside and filled me.

I hadn't even realized how deadened I'd become,

how empty, lonely, and bleak,

until I suddenly saw the world anew

through eyes colored with shades of love.

Sights I'd seen a thousand times

were wondrous again

because I wanted to share them with you.

Songs I'd listened to with deafened ears

now held new meaning

and I wanted you to hear them with me.

I don't reach out to you

because you told me not to,

but your face still fills my mind.

I still look for you

in places you may be.

I still read our messages and reach,

heart pounding with hope,

when my phone chimes

even though I should know better.

And I still think about you

Every. Single. Day