Squirrel Talk

Hey Tom how’s Alana doing?

Fine she had three pups

The nest is cool?

A little messy

But damn flea season’s starting soon

I know

I feel the itch already

Don’t fuck with me my bro

***

Coyote spotted earlier

Like half a day ago

Who saw it though?

Lee claimed to’ve

Oh good it was a house cat then

Good one

But don’t tell anybody

He’s such a liar though

***

How many ‘mons you see today?

Like twenty three or four

One was funny

It tried to touch me

I faked it out and ran away

Nice dude

Those things are fucking creepy

I know I know I know

***

I can’t believe you missed that girl

The one who gives out food?

You know it dude

Brought some almonds too

If you’re cute they give you the world

That’s true

I mean who wouldn’t, really

Just look at this gun show

***

Oh please they see you like a pup

Your eyes are as wide as your brain

Nah that’s just wrong

Like of course I’m cute

But that doesn’t make me a fool

So what?

The ‘mons all think we’re babies

There’s so much that they don’t know

***

As if we’d be the juveniles

Have you seen them try to climb trees?

They’d die out here

In hunger and fear

We’re not even on the same tier

And how!

But let’s just keep pretending

That to them our lives we owe

***

I’ve got no problem lounging here

With my own ‘mon waiting on me

Don’t hype too soon

Remember that dog?

That ‘mon treated him like a god

Oh shit

Guess I’ve got competition

But their resources aren’t low

***

Like sheesh have you seen that garden?

The one that goes on forever

It’s full of fruit

Pretty free to loot

Whoever made it I’ll salute

For real

Now my stomach is growling

I wonder what else they grow

***

Oh, also before I forget

Don’t touch that red stuff on the leaves

It isn’t good

It’s a trap they laid

So we wouldn’t touch what they made

Oh well

It can’t always be easy

But I bet we can still clear a row

***

I know right plus it’s so damn weird

How some of them try to fight us

Literally

I was 'bout to say

Do they really think they’re the prey?

Come on

I feel like they will never learn

How to treat their friends and foes