Sonnet of Scorn for Sewanee Squirrels
Hatred instilled at my alma mater, still harbored over a decade later
Too many of them and not enough nuts,
scavenging trash cans, an apple core toss
sets them off, shooting out, rodent rockets,
into the street, almost hit, gets across.
Friends say they’re “cute”, dandelion fluff tails
and twitching whiskers, they forget those eyes,
beady black tar, soulless, prism light jails,
unblinking as they nibble on some prize.
I’m suspicious of them, the way they watch
from trees and their too close proximity,
lack of fear, won’t scamper off the sidewalk,
lurking around campus, furry armies,
their pelts blending with dull decaying leaves,
plotting against us, invaders and thieves.
***
Author’s Note - This was unearthed from my college days after reading the following pieces by the gifted writer and fellow squirrel hater, Rachel Deeming:
About the Creator
D.K. Shepard
Character Crafter, Witty Banter Enthusiast, World Builder, Unpublished novelist...for now
Fantasy is where I thrive, but I like to experiment with genres for my short stories. Currently employed as a teacher in Louisville.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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- Runner-Up in Inverse Challenge
Comments (16)
I am in shock to discover two of my favourite vocal writers are squirrel haters! I have never met anyone who hated squirrels and now there are two of you. I loved "dandelion fluff tails"...such a nice description considering you think they're evil and plotting against us. =D
Congratulations on Top Story! I really enjoyed this!
Your stat is challenging your story is so beautiful you write like this you will be a great writer I wish and yes one more thing please open my vocal id and a story come later
But they taste like chicken. 🤣 We have 2 little wanut trees, so naturally, we have scores of these little sh*ts. After spending way too much time getting rid of one in our attic and dealing with the stress they create for our dogs, I'm considering putting squirrel on the menu. Love the term "light jails," by the way. Congratulations on Top Story!
"Rodent rockets" is a hilarious apt description of squirrels. Absolutely loved this and congrats on the Top Story!
Congrats on Top Story!!
Kudos for your effort! Keep up the exceptional work—congratulations!
Congrats on top story!
I felt your pain. I saw this in my feed and must have got distracted from reading it at the time and in the sieve that is my brain, it leaked like so many other good intentions. Sorry, D.K. to be late to the party. But what a party it is! Like a post-Oscar event in the upper echelons of Top Story plaza. Squirrel haters unite! Great sonnet. And thank you for the "gifted" - right back at ya! And thank you for the two shout-outs. Much obliged.
Haha. That was great. I think they're cute, though.
D.K. I LOVE this! We deal with the little bastards and their rat buddies year-round in Florida, taking single bites out of mangos and oranges and finding ways into the attic from the roof to do more damage. You nailed it!!!
Villainous critters, according to this… I’ll have to take your word for it!
I was going to say you and Rachel need to compare notes here!
What an excellent piece!! "...those eyes, beady black tar, soulless, prism light jails," is a brilliant line. Glad your college self could channel the squirrel-hate into such a great poem!
Amazing poem!
Fantastic poem! Great work!