Something New

I had to have a conversation

with myself again today,

and it wasn't a very pretty talk.

Because I had to remind myself

of things I'd rather pretend don't exist,

And tell myself it's time to grow up.

I did what I did

because you came back to me,

the real you, the one I called my love.

And I did what I do best

by giving it just one more chance,

and mostly, you didn't disappoint.

I saw you trying,

and I saw you changing,

and all the progress you were making.

I thought to myself,

"We're gonna be ok."

And felt a little hope.

But I couldn't shake this feeling.

Something nagging deep inside,

telling me I couldnt be happy with you anymore.

I told the voice shut up.

Told it to go fuck itself,

because I could make it work.

I mean, I finally got you back.

No way in hell

did I plan on letting you go.

I COULD FIX THIS.

I blamed this feeling on work,

and sure, work was an issue.

To the point I snapped and quit.

I was done feeling undervalued

and completely unappreciated,

by the people I busted my ass for.

Plus the toxicity of family members

and their cheating, backstabbing ways.

I was becoming sick.

Sick of it all,

all the fake shit

and all of the fake people.

I felt it coming to a peak

inside of myself,

I felt my breaking point coming.

“Reset.”

That word wouldn't leave me alone.

It was a menace to a trying heart and mind,

Finally, I realized I couldn't fix this.

At some point,

you just have to be done.

Whether it be by a wise willingness,

Or the complete inability to

possess tolerance for the situation anymore.

My “Me.” has just had enough.

So here I sit, in this foreign room,

Reseting, unsure of what my new future awaits, yet grateful.