i wanted to smell the sun
from the corners of my eyes
i could hear the straining
of fading distant colours
a subdermal flight of fancy
i got into and under my skin
a warm translucent fragile layer
just waiting beneath the thin
a manifestation of imagineering
a flimsy layer of hope and trust
i only wanted to smell the sun
aim for the sky with a yearning filled lust
i got so close, it’s gaze so hot
but i had ignored some basic facts
i could finally smell the sun all right
plus burning feathers and melting wax
About the Creator
Brenton F
I find it easier to bare ones soul than it is to provide a less than adequate bio
It's just a token of my extreme - Frank Zappa
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I have an eBook, a collection of my favourite pieces
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Comments (15)
Icarus? Is that you? Loved your poem!
Brenton, I love your use of imagery and the narrative you chose for this poem! It feels very much like a classic, I immediately knew who the character was likening themselves to and what the metaphor you were going for was! Greet work!
This is so well done! You captured the story perfectly.
Every line of this is more captivating than the last. This was amazing!
Well fuck, this is incredible. "wanted to smell the sun from the corners of my eyes i could hear the straining of fading distant colours" Your sensory depictions here are really cool. I love imagining Icarus wanting to smell the sun and hearing the straining of fading colors. What an overwhelming poem. That shift from his desire to the realization of his mistake is jaw dropping. "a manifestation of imagineering a flimsy layer of hope and trust" The message here is clear, but you do it so delicately. The warning of certain follies and desires...Icarus reimagined. Love this! And well done!
This is wonderful. Well done.
Oh, I liked that, excellent closing line, and my skin felt crawly itchy in your subdermal flight of fancy.
Poppy's correct. This is thoroughly captivating.
Hey Brenton, just want to let you know I shared this poem in Poppy's Preferences! https://vocal.media/journal/poppy-s-preferences-pt6
Oooo, I love this Icarus themed poem! Well done!
Genius. I really want to say something clever and witty, but I am at a loss. Feathers and wax …. Great stuff
I absolutely adore this poem Brenton! I love the story of Icarus. I was instantly drawn in by the first line and enjoyed the whole poem but especially loved the finish.
Nice flow with a bit of a glow.
Oh wow I wasn't ready for this ❤️
Alas, poor Icarus.