Sin in Color

Red from spilled blood

and breakouts on my cheek.

Red from the rash

on my neck when I speak.

Red from a youth spent

dying my hair.

Red from laying

upside down in a chair.

Red from artificially-dyed

soda pop.

Red on my knees

when my bike wouldn't stop.

And red when you looked at me

for the first time.

Red when I knew

you should've been mine.

Orange from bleached roots

without any toner.

Orange, my first car

that wasn't a loaner.

Orange from the tree

we walked by after school.

Orange from spray tanning

'cause we thought it looked cool.

Orange, the tint

of liquid medicine.

Orange, the color

of my chewy vitamin.

And orange, a reminder

of that one, fateful season

that you decided to leave

and not give me a reason.

Yellow from the way

the sun's rays hit your hair.

Yellow from the way

you laughed and didn't care.

Yellow from the bruises

as they began to heal.

Yellow, a banana,

you ate after each meal.

Yellow from the necklace

you wore on our first date.

The yellow you blamed

for making you late.

And yellow you dropped off

in a box at my door

the day I found out

I wouldn't see you anymore.

Green as a leaf

I have started to grow.

Green grass and green roofs,

green highs and green lows.

Green tint in my face

from a carnival ride.

Green envy, the color

you've turned me inside.

Green, the theme

of a March holiday.

The day my parents

found out that I'm gay.

Green vomit from nerves

and a dark-colored beer.

Oh god, oh god,

how I wish you were here.

I'm blue as the summer

turns into the fall.

Blue, 'cause I've tried,

but you won't return my call.

Blue as the water

from the stream down the street

where my new girl and I

would cheerfully meet.

Blue in her sweater

and on her eyelids.

Blue as she painted

a room for our kids.

Blue follows me

wherever I go,

but you are the only

one that would know.

Purple from new bruises

when I saw your face

because I knew it was one

I could never replace.

Purple, the pants

of whose hand you were holding.

If I was with him,

you'd be doing the scolding.

Purple, the street sign

on the stoplight above.

Could you be with a man

and think that it's love?

Purple on your lids

as I caught your eye

but you pretended I didn't

and you walked on by.

Black and white

is what I thought we could be

when I thought there was you

and I thought there was me.

But then there was her

and then there was him

and our moms and our dads

who thought we were a sin.

Yet each day I am Joseph

with my colorful coat

living life without fear,

carrying pride in my tote.

And because of this fact

you're not one I can hate

'cause courage gave me pride

and fear made you straight.