More Colors Than Blue

I've always felt accompanied by a rain cloud

Not so much one that's thunderous, not one that's loud.

But one that hides the light from shining on my face,

And tells me there's only darkness, no matter the place.

So I stomp around with slumped shoulders, a hunch in my gait,

Though the sun is ever-present, its rays hit me too late.

The cloud all but consumes me; it never ceases to pursue.

I guess you could say that my color is blue.

Well, except when I stand up and speak to a crowd.

Warmth rushes from within me and displays itself, proud.

It covers my face and my neck like a rash,

Painting my body in one splotchy, angry splash.

One would think I was hot, or sweaty, or scared,

Or that somehow my speech would be impaired.

But no, it's just my body, it's not in my head.

When that happens you could say that my color is red.

Oh, and sometimes when I meet someone smarter than me,

I can be inquisitive and brash in a lousy attempt to see

If their brains can match mine, can withstand an attack

From a challenger who lets everything roll off her back.

I throw question after question, never ceasing in snark

And when they finally slip up, I exclaim it with a bark.

Some may say that it's foolish, others say I'm downright mean,

But some days, envy can turn my color to green.

And let's not forget when at first I wake,

When my eyes barely open, and in my voice there's a break.

If the sun peers through my windows, my body will rise,

Never letting me sleep in on days with bright, sunny skies.

I make my way through our house, a sleepy-faced mess,

With those I love smiling at me, waiting for me to bless

Them with a faint, muffled and unenthusiastic, "Hello."

The people around me turn my insides yellow.

And when I love, when I love! I can't quite make it poetic,

In fact, when I love, it's extremely pathetic.

I stumble and fumble and slip when I speak,

And when I walk, oh, my poor knees, they go weak!

But I didn't know until recently that this feeling was love,

Yet, now that I know, that word fits like a glove.

But before, I just thought that she was close friends with me.

After all, how could a girl like me love a "she?"

But when I finally named that feeling inside,

All the colors in me felt they no longer had to hide.

And now, I walk around, accompanied by a glow,

As if I found the secret that they're all dying to know.

Some may say it's wrong, but I wear it with pride,

Because the shame in my soul finally died.

At last, I can walk without making myself small.

Maybe I've got more colors than blue, after all.