She’s Blonde, You Were Brunette

1.

There was a time

In my life when

Sunlight fell in

Patterns around me

Like confetti at a concert

It was the time of my life

When I was best friends with

A brown haired girl who

Handed me hope for

Every time I passed her

Reassurances

❀

(A time when I was

Best friends with you)

❀

People said we looked

Like sisters and you soon

Grew into one (or so I thought)

Sharing each other’s presence

Like a bag of popcorn

One conversation lasted

Two whole years because

We never came up for air

❀

We were constant

And unwavering

And unbreakable

(Like the Titanic)

❀

Now I balance

On the horizon

Looking for you

As a blind man

Searches for sight

❀

But you are nowhere

To be found

(At least not for me)

❀

2.

There is a girl

Who I stumble across

In grocery stores and

Movie theatre car parks

When I search for dark hair

And my eyes land on

Dyed blonde instead

❀

Her hair is the

Gradient of grass

Where yours was

The spiral of tower shells

❀

She avoids meeting

My eyes in a kind of way

You never did

Running away for

Every time you stayed

❀

My walls used to be

Tattooed with memories

Of good times shared

(With you)

Now every corner

Is spiderwebbed with ‘why’s

Every window covered with

Curtains of abandonment

❀

When my phone screen

Lights up I always think

It is the past calling

Apologising for the blood

Still staining my carpet

My clothes, my skin

My every thought

But it is never her

Offering an explanation

And that’s how I know

You are completely

And utterly different

From your blonde look-a-like

❀

You would never

Leave me to pick up

The pieces of this friendship

All on my own

You would never let me

Pick up my own pieces

By myself

❀

She’s turned her back

In a way you never would

And every time I search for you

All I find is someone who

Has your face but lacks

Your kindness

❀

They tell me you

Share the same name

The same eyes

The same voice

But what you don’t share

Is the same best friend

❀

You don’t share the

Ability to save me

(Or at least not

The desire to)

❀❀❀❀❀

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