Shame and Hunger
The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. ~Mother Teresa
Shame and hunger go hand in hand.
The cold of the streets bit through me tonight,
So I stepped into a pizza place for heat.
I've eaten less than three crackers this week
And a restaurant is no place to be,
Dirty and unshaven with no money to eat.
Walking tangos with the cold to buy me some time
But I have to keep moving, or the hunger wins.
Even thin bodies need warmth and rest.
Stepping into glowing redness the smell of pizza
Wafts over me, hot bread mingling with my soul.
Licking feverish lips I vaguely remember
Being my mother’s child, before that fat-ass moved in.
No more fresh baked goods for me.
My dad died long ago... and mom hates being alone.
I hate it too.
Courting shame pierces deeper than the smell of bread
I don’t know what’s worse;
The fact that I’m such a loser that mom picked him over me,
Or the fact that I just realized… eating is a privilege,
And not a right.
Feeding warmth into my hands in the restaurant,
My wailing stomach draws the eye of the patrons.
The harrowing stare of the cashier steals my attention.
I don’t know what put her off more, my hunger, or my shame…
They go hand in hand, ya know
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recall being homeless with bitterness but it was no one's fault. My mother had illnesses at the time and as I was an adult, she didn't know I was homeless. I didn't want to burden her with that because it would force me to reckon with my failures and I didn't want her to take that as a poor reflection of her mothering skills. That was on me.
I'd lost my job, and the day my house went up for auction, my car broke down. I didn't have the funds to fix it. I've never done drugs, and while I drank a bit as a teenager, I never made a habit of it and in my adulthood didn't do it at all. I wasn't your typical homeless person, walking the streets due to an addiction or to fight the power or anything important like that. I was just someone down on my luck. A lady I knew at the time convinced a friend of hers to pay me to paint her house to help me out, since I had once painted houses for her professionally, so I was fortunate enough to only be homeless a couple of months. Most... are no so lucky.
If you see someone homeless, I encourage you to count your blessings. As writers, we know that every life is a story waiting to be heard. Don't let yours end with hard feelings for the ones you love and hey, if in all of that you can find it in your heart to drop a warm meal or some kind words on the homeless, please do.
Below is a video I made to go with a song I wrote about a homeless man I met when I was also on the street. At one time, it was used to raise funds for the homeless but now the song, much like I was at the time, is out there on it's own. LOL!
Thanks for stopping by!
About the Creator
Veronica Coldiron
I'm a mild-mannered project accountant by day, a free-spirited writer, artist, singer/songwriter the rest of the time. Let's subscribe to each other! I'm excited to be in a community of writers and I'm looking forward to making friends!
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More stories from Veronica Coldiron and writers in Poets and other communities.
OF MOTHERHOOD.
Dear mother-to-be, I wanted to let you know how very, very special I think you are. I don't think there can be any job that is more meaningful than the one you are about to begin, that of being a mom. You are the most important person in the world to your precious unborn baby, and you will be for many years.
By Catherine Nyomenda7 days ago in Writers
Comments (25)
So deserving of Top Story... beautifully written about a very tough topic. So sorry that you were homeless for a bit. It can happen so quickly & often friends & family are unaware.
Very moving poem, and the song is excellent. Congratulations on finding a way to know longer be homeless, it can be hard to do. In north carolina your income has to be three times your rent. I was talking to one homeless man who has a tent near my apartment. He had the security deposit and two months rent and they still turned him down. He doesn't have a job. I don't know how he gets his money I didn't want to be too nosey,
So well done, Veronica. A moving piece, the poem is raw and honest. Introspective. I agree with Andrew, it can happen to anyone. You are stronger from your struggles. Congratulations on an excellent Top Story!
Too many of us are just a paycheck away from homeless. It can happen to anyone. This is a great job and good on you for taking up the responsibility of your own mistakes. Great job. Congratulations on TS.
This is fantastic. I love that you told us your story and took responsibility onto your own shoulders. Also loved the song. I think you should publish it as a poem. Congrats on Top Story.
Nice work ❤️😗 Just joined haven’t really got to know how people like my stories 😏
Yayyyy so happy this got a Top Story! Congratulations!
FANTASTIC writing & message! Congrats on your TOP STORY Veronica!😊
I have been homeless for a short period myself, I spent a small part of winter sleeping in the shed of a home depot. I always try and help those less fortunate because I get it. Congrats on top story!
Fantastic poem and the behind yhe scenes story that you shared!!!💕❤️❤️ Congratulations on Top Story!!!
The truest shame of it is that we as a society, here in the developed west, I mean, have the resources to end homelessness. In fact, curing it is significantly cheaper than treating the symptoms. Naturally, that would involve helping people for no reason other than common humanity, so nobody is interested. It breaks my heart that I can't save them, but I do try to help, in my own small ways. Hopefully I'm not actively contributing to the problem. Fantastic piece, Veronica and congratulations on Top Story
Congratulations on a Fantastic Top Story🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I really need to stop sneak reading at work-read and fogot to comment! Superbly done, I will never undertand why sociery/government can't or rather won't do more to make sure tjat no one is left homeless. Your voice is brilliant also and Ilove that you use it to raise awareness and support a worthy cause x Congratulations on wonderful top story 🤍
THis piece is incredible, it really cuts to the bone of humanity. Thank you for letting us see the layers so elegantly.
I know I’ve said this before but I love the tone of your voice. It was nice to hear it in a sad but upbeat song. I appreciate the deep message of the poem and the sharing of your personal experience. It saddens me to think that somewhere someone is hungry and doesn’t know when their next meal is coming. This is very disturbing. Thank you for opening our eyes to something that exists everyday. 💖
This is great. You are an incredible talent, and an even better person.
Thank you for this genuine, honest look into your life. We often take our good fortune for granted, without realizing that we're only a step away from the streets. Congratulations on a very important and very well-deserved Top Story!
Very refined piece with truly humble and human emotions, I really appreciate your honesty here
This is amazing. Moving, beautiful, honest, insightful, kind, real... and such talent. Veronica, all of it is fabulous and that song... Wow. Full respect to you in every way!
Veronica, your story really moved me. There is so much in life that we take for granted and a lot of entitlement pervades our everyday consciousness. Thanks for making us aware of your past situation. My respect for you has skyrocketed and it was pretty high already.
Your poem broke my heart but your story ripped it out of my body! I'm so sorry you were homeless but I'm glad it was only for a few months. The other day, it rained soooo heavily. It came down so hard, the winds were so strong and the thunder was so loud. I kept thinking to myself that I'm so grateful to have a roof over my head.
Great writing, and really heart felt. Well done.
Love it! ❤️
a very touching story Veronica, so real yet unreal i🥲
That was a wonderful piece of writing. I really enjoyed it