Shadow Work

These are a collection of poems from a dark time in my life and I’d like to advise that if you are not in the mindset to hear dark subject matter, please do not go any further. These poems were written over a year or two, and I find myself expressing my thoughts through art because direct words tend to escape me in hard times. Just to make sure I made myself clear. THESE POEMS MAY INVOKE DARK THOUGHTS IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE RIGHT HEADSPACE, DO CONTINUE WITH CAUTION. Thank you and you have been warned.

Forgiveness

People always tell you to forgive but I never will

People say that forgiveness could help you, but I don’t think it does

If I forgive a bullet for piercing my skin, it doesn’t stop me from bleeding out

If I forgive a bullet for running through me, it doesn’t stop the gunman

If I forgive the gunman, it doesn’t save 5 other people from the same fate

Forgiveness is a lie, told by the villains to continue their villainy

If I forgive a villain, it wouldn’t matter because the villain never gave a damn about me, to begin with.

People tell me unforgiveness is like swallowing poison hoping for the other person to die but it’s not

People say that forgiveness is the only way to get into heaven

I say forgiveness is the poison that leaves you sedated and docile

I say that heaven can be anywhere you go along as you leave the bullshit at the door

You can forgive whoever you want to forgive but just know the only person that needs to be forgiven is YOU

You are your own worst critic, your own worst bully

You made mistakes that you've never let go of and it keeps you up most nights

If you have to forgive anyone let it, be you.

Bottom of the Bottle

You can run but your feelings won’t hide.

Even at the end of the glass, you can’t leave them behind.

Drink, drink, drink till it comes back up.

Even though you’re sick you repeat.

You do it because at some point you’ll forget.

As long as you remember to swim back up from the bottom of the bottle, it’ll be okay.

I’m Hurt

Living in a world where comedy is my default,

Loving you is my downfall.

Can’t finish shit but I start it all.

Build it up just to drop the ball,

Drown the pain with alcohol.

I’m burning in my skin.

life is rigged, there’s no way I can win.

Getting knocked down at every turn,

Makes me want to just watch the world burn.

It’s not fair, I’m not alright

Sometimes, I wish I was on the other side of life.

There are voices in my head, I know you can’t hear them.

I know I’m broken; doesn’t mean I can cure it.

Filling the void is a fool’s errand.

What’s the point of feeling when no one cares?

If you see my pain- you see I’m hurting,

Why can’t you help me with the burden?

You are not broken

It hurts, I know.

To look yourself in the eyes- it’s a chore.

You think something is wrong-it’s not, at least, not with you.

It’s hard, I know.

The fragments take you away from the bigger picture to look at the world through broken glass.

you’re worried, I know.

you think you’ll never see it- you will.

The world is what you make it. take those fragments and make the world new.

When you’re done, it’ll look messy close-up.

You’re scared, I know.

Take a few steps back and see the world you made.

I promise it’ll be better than you’d ever expect.