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Separation Anxiety

A Poem About Missing My Love

By Toy CaulderPublished 4 years ago 2 min read
The affection I crave


From separation

Abandonment dulled

By inebriation

A shambles of a life

Ruled by placation

Turning the station

Rolling the tide

I know I tried

To hide

The bitter sweetness

That inside


I was alone

And I cried

Taking stride

Towards my own end

Praying to be taken

No way to make amends

I can’t do it again

My friend

My love

Sweet as a dove

If there’s such a thing

To speak of

When you find yourself above

Even me

I’m forgotten

Feeling rotten

But still caught in

My own way

It’s a lot and

I was taught in

An unhealthy way

Not to downplay

Our love babe

or outweigh

Your want to stay

But here I lay

Screaming your name

Begging for your voice

Like new rolls Royce

you’ll give a new perspective

Give me a new choice

Be my boo

Be my boi

I’ll be your Mattoya

And your Toy

You said forever

And that’s a long time

But you also said never

And it happens on the dime

It’s not crime

But it hurts

And the pain only gets worse

It is a curse

But I tell you I’m fine


And neutral

Becoming semi-feudal

Short lived

And brutal

For all entailed.

We haven’t failed

But you’re not trying

You say you can be honest

But what if we’re lying

Or dying from trying


So far away

From our truth.

A philosophical brute

A genius chained to youth

Me and you

What will we be?

You and me

Is there a we?

I thought we were us

But every time I blow the bubble

It finds a way to bust

I want to trust

I do

I’ll always love you

But feeling forgotten

Leaves me internally bruised

Feeling used

Like a ruse

Was pulled over my head

I lay here lying to myself

Feeling dead

Numbing the pain

Numbing myself

Delaying the strain

Avoiding the hell

I’m holding in

Do you love me?

Or will you shove me

Away again

I’ll always be a friend

You have too many brothers

The only thing that gives me hope

Is the hope that we’ll be lovers

With each other

Until the very end

Despite the sins

And the tragedies

The millions of times I’ve wept

Thinking you were mad at me

I’m sad indeed

Stuck inside myself

When I’d rather be with you

Free of this old shell

Of separation

And anxiety.

love poems

About the Creator

Toy Caulder

Not your average human being, actually, quite possible that I'm below average. However, I am constantly improving and learning from my (ridiculously long and detailed list of) mistakes, I only hope you can do the same. Hugs + Coffee = Life!

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