How to find the right words to confess love?
O, isn't it simple enough? But how to find
The right words for every single detail
Of what you see and experience every moment of your life?
Every insignificant detail in which a careful observer,
A scrutinizing eye may sense a whole world of poetry,
A whole new world of something both so very familiar
And, at the same time, uncharted and enchanting,
Touching or terrifying, abominable or beautiful.
Like that little boy at a bus stop on a slushy winter day
With his tiny spade, trying to slash in two a lump
Of snow–dirt amalgam. Repeatedly failing.
The cunning clump keeps slipping
From under the blade. There's a limit to little kids' patience,
The boy gets pretty annoyed; he frowns; he throws
The useless spade aside and steps on the pig-headed
Dirt–snow blob. Flop! Stamp! Now let's call this snirt shoeprint
A success! Let's call it a victory!
And there should be a term for a funny-angry boy stamping
On a snow–dirt lump. But there's none.
Therefore, one is compelled to employ this verbose description
Of the thing that took a bit more than a split second to happen.
And the magic of that moment gets irreversibly deformed if not destroyed.
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Compelling and original writing
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Comments (13)
That was exceptionally well written. I was thoroughly impressed and enjoyed it immensely
💚 I think I liked this piece a lot, but I don’t have the words, so I will just shout: MAGICAL SHOVEL BOY!!! ✨😃 Impressive work my friend, you sure do have a way with the pen!
Andrei, I lack accurate words to describe the beauty of this poem. You paint a beautiful picture with your words. I felt as though I was there with that little boy!
❤ Lovely words. Unlike you... I have a knack for deforming the magic of life with poetry. 🤣
This is wonderfully written. Well done.
Amazing, beautifully written-I read this one out loud for full effect! Luckily I live alone! Really beautifully done and such a poignant message 🤍🤍🤍
Spectacular performance poem!!! Loving it!!!❤️❤️💕
Whoaaaa! You blew my mind with this! You never cease you amaze me!
If there was a single word for it, you wouldn't have been able to describe it so vividly. We'd have missed out.
I have to search for words too, sometimes! Well written!
Well. These words are stunning. So… "Uncharted and enchanting." I always adore your more nuanced word play, especially when it’s in spelling patterns and inversions "unch-" "ench-" "-art" "-ant". Beautiful symmetry. Your extended metaphor of the little boy is working so well here; "snirt" is my new favorite word, lol. "And the magic of that moment gets irreversibly deformed if not destroyed." I want to cry at this line. It seemed like the words of the beginning were in perfect position for a glowing sentiment of sublimity…And we end up here, with an annoyed boy who stamped on his mission, rather than using a patient finesse. This is my favorite part: "Every insignificant detail in which a careful observer, A scrutinizing eye may sense a whole world of poetry, A whole new world of something both so very familiar And, at the same time, uncharted and enchanting" You layer each line so delicately in the first half. "Every single detail" in "every moment" and every "insignificant detail" sees "a whole world" that is simultaneously familiar and uncharted. I’m not expressing this well. But I can see how you took a couple words from each preceding line, expanded it in the next line, to create a cascading poetic effect. Like you’re purposefully deceiving yourself (I say "you," but mean "speaker," to cover my potential wrong assumption) that you don’t have the words, when clearly you do. And in turn, that failure to see that the words are here, leads "you" to become that boy, and to smash the snirt lump into a muddled success, that does not land in your heart. In other words, this is one of my favorite poems from you, Andrei.
Just like the snirt blob itself was irreversibly deformed into a shoeprint. I can feel his frustration and yours. There should be a word for especially those things. Snirtastrophe is too strong of a word, and doesn't express the agent... a juvenile snirtastrophe? 🤔
Ah, the desire for the ability to wax eloquent over something so inexpressible. Perhaps there is greater eloquence in not being able to put it into words. Or perhaps expressing eloquently our inability to express it adequately would be best of all. A bit of Cyrano, perhaps.