Scoffed at Love

I scoffed at love,

My heart sits,

Full of cynicism,

where hope used to be...

The cliche, “When you, know you know, never made sense to me

Then I met you,

The heartache, that kept me up at night

The eggshells, I crunched annually

Attempts of guarding my affectionate words with others

Seem to ebb and flow

effortlessly off my tongue, with you

I, the fly

Them the Venus trap,

With you ,I forget all traumatic crap,

The tears,

I have shed in the shower,

A mantra comes to mind, “I have the power,”I mutter

The affirmation, I try to muster

The disbelief, in my own words

Start to fluster me like a stutter

I try, to clear my groggy brain from

pain.

As I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror

Exhale as I let off steam

Every fear,

I screamed out in frustration, to my pillow

None of the “romantic” sex pillow talk after

As I walk, away,

farther,

further from myself

The years creep along like pin prick of a needle

There are nicks on the pads of my feet,

Constantly, sweeping up

the pieces of my shattered heart

My heart is made of quartz,

Just a scratch on your transparent glass heart, that thwarts any real desire

Every manic thought,

Never allowing myself a breather

I scoffed at love,

Unworthy of love

I convinced myself with inner monologue

I had all but given up...

Then I met you,

Every horror date story

We waded through to get here

Every scar we bare

Draws us closer

I am sorry, I didn’t find you sooner

My hair has darkened

My laugh lines show

I have more freckles than ever before

There is no topic off limits

We can’t get enough of each other

Not in a possessive sense

More of a fascination

The words I love you, come naturally

I had never heard them spoken so genuinely

Not borrowed or used

Forget forced

Or said and taken back

but felt

I scoffed at love,

But it found me,

I remember how it felt,

Embracing love, anew

A small reminder of the child in myself, “Oh how she grew!”

Into,

the woman before you

When I met you,

I just knew

This between us was true