Saved

i’m stronger

than the noose

that hangs

from the rafters

i’m sharper

than the razor blade

that sits on the edge

of a hot bath

i’m faster

than the bullet

that lays in wait

in the breech of my gun

i’m more dangerous

than the handful of pills

that wanna jump

down my neck

i’m heavier

than the engine block

tied to my legs as i stand

on a lonely pier

i am cleaner

than the gasses

from my car

that fill it and the garage

i'm hotter

than the fires i have built

and surrounded

myself with

i have seen

these many paths

and so far

i have avoided them all

i know

i'm bigger than all of this

but still,

i feel so small

there is

no coming back

no degrees

of absolution

the end is always

as it was;

there is

no suicide solution