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Rime Covered

Rime upon Rhyme?

By Mohammed DarasiPublished about a month ago 1 min read
Top Story - March 2024
25
Rime Covered
Photo by Mike Hindle on Unsplash

Neural winds flowing empty

unable to latch on to anything worthy

scouring the land for better rhymes and worldly

ideas, but rime covers neurons, unthawed and murky.

Rivers of Ice with solid surfaces and grand

trees usually in green expanse

but now covered in thin sheets of bland

ice, freezing even the driest of sands.

-

Cleverly placing heavy bars and grading

lines on heavenly feelings and scaling

rhymes on floating words and cadence

shrines the overall feeling, but patience

dines on unknowing people but they once had

time on their side for clearance

of thoughts with perseverance.

-

Now cogs no longer move

The machine no longer looms

Nothing produced, might as well be a tomb

Until something raids and brings back a boom.

nature poetrysocial commentaryslam poetryinspirational
25

About the Creator

Mohammed Darasi

I write fiction, poetry and occasional articles about interesting topics. I recently created a website (just because) which I will be posting my writing in (among other things). it would be great if you check it out. https://mindpit.co.uk/

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  4. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (16)

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  • A. J. Schoenfeldabout a month ago

    Very nice. Beautifully written.

  • Dana Crandellabout a month ago

    Where do I start? From the clever subtitle to the end this is a marvelously creative description of writer's block and a skillfully written poem, to boot. Congratulations on Top Story, Mohammed!

  • Vicki Lawana Trusselli about a month ago

    Congratulations on your top story

  • Vicki Lawana Trusselli about a month ago

    Excellent story!

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • LASZLO SLEZAKabout a month ago

    Wow, good post.

  • Carol Townendabout a month ago

    Fantastic Top Story! It is well written, expressive, uses great metaphors, and is creative.

  • L.C. Schäferabout a month ago

    Well done on TS!

  • emaabout a month ago

    Wow, I think your poem is really original!

  • Anna about a month ago

    Congrats on Top Story!🥳🥳🥳

  • Kayleigh Fraser ✨about a month ago

    Congratulations 🎉 🎉🎉

  • Andrew Pretzelabout a month ago

    "Neural winds flowing empty" . wow

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Oooo, that last stanza packed a punch! Loved your poem!

  • Kayleigh Fraser ✨about a month ago

    Wow!!!! So much wow. I initially copied “trees usually in green expanse but now covered in thin sheets of bland ice, freezing even the driest of sands” to say that I love the imagery of this, it’s so clever…. But then I read on, and then that entire second verse blew me away completely. The flow, the word choice, the rhymes, the emotion…. Just…. WOW!!!! I felt like I was addressing a massive crowd when reading it aloud…. It felt so powerful…. Well done!

  • Ace Meleeabout a month ago

    Beautiful! What caught my eye the most was the "Rivers of Ice" (s1,l5) in the poem because it was a place being capitalized.

  • Babs Iversonabout a month ago

    Inspiring!!!💕❤️❤️

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