Reminding Myself

I keep telling myself I am a changed woman,

Always forward never back,

Reclaiming my heart's unresolved bits,

from the loss of the past,

I keep reminding myself that I am no longer mentally matching,

With every man I meet,

That I will just have casual conversations,

With no desire to seek,

I often see something that reminds me of the past of one of them

Like a snag in my hem,

I think of what they are up to,

Think about how they were once someone I knew,

How I crave the feeling of knowing someone as I did with them,

While convincing myself it's not time to date anyone,

I download a dating app,

Hoping to land on a match,

That lasted more than one night's conversation,

Hoping for a spark of witty banter sensation,

But every non-response,

Is a reminder coded in nuance,

That it is not my time,

How you cannot force something to feel right,

I try to find the daily reminders in everything I see,

Reminders to keep going forward, to keep being me.