Redemption
Paul's Unofficial Remix Challenge
The world you loved is gone,
You experienced something others
So rarely do,
The chance to start anew.
That glimpsed never should, that could, that was,
Dismayed, fading façade,
Reflected in the shining blade,
Turned in towards the thundering heart,
The fire burnt fingers begging,
Tantalising. Hard love.
Tough love.
Pain.
No smooth lipped kisses,
To soothe where sharp, rough edges
Pierce and cut and maim.
When did you last reach out and grab for the clouds, sun, moon and stars?
Weary, yearning watcher,
These were yesterday’s losses.
High days that ripped
An untempered schism
Of war and love, life and death.
Sweep away the storm cast story,
Place the heart upon the alter
Of the word. Breathe life into
The fragile mind, rein encroaching thoughts.
Cradle self-worth.
Immerse yourself in water,
Tilt back you head and float.
Coalesce.
You are the sea.
You are the breeze.
You are the mist, the smooth touch, the laughter and the tears.
Pivot to emotional warmth.
To love, to kindness, to joy.
To the reality of life, when you remember.
Acclimatise yourself to peace.
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Written for Paul's Remix Challenge, and drawing from all five of his remix poems (below), but also on our many conversations, which I have valued greatly.
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About the Creator
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Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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By Giulia Viti3 days ago in Fiction
Comments (38)
Ooooo, I absolutely loved the placement of that pivot line and how I felt the turn happen!! Bravo. This was wonderful :)
This one, Hannah! Submit this one!! (Haha, I know it’s Paul’s source material, but wow. It is journal-worthy.) I could see Paul all the way thru, and you clear as day. The balance of your voices is sublime. Ah! I wanna eat this up! You’re marvelous, my friend. ❤️
Wonderful entry Hannah!! 😊👍
Just now getting caught up on my reading. Beautifully done, Hannah!
Congratulations for top story clearly describes that love is not a bed of roses
Congratulations on the Leaderboard win!!!🥰🥰🥰
Your poem weaves a powerful journey from darkness to light, beautifully illustrating the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of redemption.
Congrats on top story! I am in awe, so beautiful! 💗
Excellent Top Story Hannah. Congratulations 🙌
Congrats on the top story. It's like you put Paul on and made him fit!!
Fabulous message that trickles through every single line. ❤️
Congrats on Top Story!🥳🥳🥳
Good take on the challenge!
Congrats on top story!! 💌💌
Well-wrought! Could you suggest one short piece that is a good introduction to your body of work here? I've read some engaging works from you here, but I haven't found the one I want for my CREATION MYTH yet! Link me, please!
What a beautiful take on Paul's challenge; congratulations on Top Story!
Wow 🤩 And congratulations!
Congratulations Should have guessed this would be top Story
Congrats on Top Story!🥳
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Greg job ♡
Great piece! The inspiration for it was clear but it was also still very original!
Very smooth and wonderful to read It took me to a different place that I wished to be Congratulations
this was gorgeous, the imagery was staggering
This was so good. A remix challenge is so original!