Presence

Sweetheart, may I?

Endearments feel strange on my tongue

I always wanted to be called honey, or hon

But releasing it from my stomach of butterflies

To bring attention to you, the care in my chest

It

Feels

Hard

To be vulnerable, to admit that I want

To be soft, to confess that I wish to be loved

To let go, to let life be what it be and simply

Hold

Your

Hand

Looking away feels easier

Your eyes are brown, so brown, so light and gold and flecked

I look at them and I think ‘muddy puddle, but it’s not so simple, not a slight

Sunlight in clear water, mud coating fallen leaves of spring and fall and embracing them, saving them

The water drifts, settled, calm, clarity

The earthen tones move with the sun and they shift and they sing

I

Am

Safe?

I am the boots that splash in your puddle

I am the one who clouds the calm

I spread my confusion, uncertainty, my fear

The colours disappear and they’re no longer clear

I am a storm that pushes and pulls

I don’t know how to trust in the

Here

And

Now