PLEASE DON'T PLAY TCHAIKOVSKY

I felt a crack, I heard a snap, what was a child to do?

My precious, sweet and blameless heart, had broken right in two

A bruised and beaten princess with nothing left to lose,

Scattered into pieces, of a masterpiece unglued.

*

Where were you my saviour, when evil came to call?

When my tiny body was smashed against the wall?

My beloved younger Brother had bravely seen it all,

Shaking in the shadows, of a lamp-less family hall.

*

I glanced across the table, blankly staring, in a daze,

Stirring my porridge slowly, into a paste, around my plate

I knew not the face before me, I was myself, no more,

For days I felt so lonesome, looking down beyond the floor.

*

Their silence never fooled me, all was calm before they burst,

The game of chance and love of verse became my lifelong curse,

They set the blame upon me, like a wild rabid dog,

How could I see with clarity, while lost amid the fog?

*

Sweet little ballerina, held an innocence of old,

Existing as an empty girl, in fear of their control

I danced across the world’s great stage, in faded ballet shoes,

Dancing through the purple haze, with nothing left to lose.

*

It’s strange how evil wears so well, it’s flimsy fake disguise,

How easily its wickedness, stares into children's eyes

Maybe, if the reason for the hurt had been revealed,

All my broken, bleeding, bones, would be completely healed?

*

Torn apart at seven, wrenched from joy at seventeen,

Falling from my heaven to hell’s vortex to get clean

Please, don’t play Tchaikovsky, his music chills me to the bone,

Sadly, 'til the day I die, I’ll dance ‘Swan Lake’ alone...

*

©️Wendy Phelan - 2017/Edited - July 2019

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