Pillows

I turn the pillow over to hold your scent

not for the pleasure of your smell

but for the happiness of the evening it brings

I don’t know how to write

I don’t know how to be good

I don’t know how to be what you need

I just know that I can love

and care and cry and feel anger

how could I hold such compassion

for another human who ruins

and feels pains that you can’t control

I am the biggest pain

a throbbing in your skull

but I’m trying my best

nothing I say holds as much value

as how I feel about you

I turn the pillow over

so your scent controls the room and my senses

I love