Over-extension - Different Plane

Different Plane.

We never touched, but you felt me, though you hate to admit it. You were a beauty in the dark, stealing kisses every time we closed our eyes. I found the music of me, with you. I could almost hear the choir in our laughter. I could almost taste heaven on your breath. Congregating melodies and bodies, twisting and shining with the sweat of the unseen praise and worship. And then one day, suddenly, it was like the lights switched on. Like we had ironically been dancing on our graves blinded by our own expectations of what life was supposed to be. Too much had been spent on pedestals that sat Kings who wouldn’t dare break their neck to look down, too worried what they might discover neglected at the backs of their own shadows. I watched while you settled your heart on fleeting desires and choked on reality in all its bittersweet. Too much spotlight beamin' down over our rhythms of sin. Perhaps it was the little love we knew, that left us desperate to hold on to anything stronger. I could almost see us making something of love, even if it forced our hands at magic and prayer. I kept finding myself escaping lack of home, to you. I tried desperately to re-create familiar scenes that had never quite played out, blurring the line wishful thinking and gut feelings. I left you monologues expecting no applause. Just another insecurity, trapezing around your subconscious, waiting for us to materialize into something more.

I should’ve never been the girl of your dreams. We weren't even the same person. She had everything I couldn't grasp; you imagined you saw it in me. The falls from grace shattered more than ankles and hope. It took faith hostage, and stripped the ego of its gleam. You left me to brave the cold alone. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were just around the corner, watching me shiver and ache from a distance; I could wear pain like black negligees and half-hearted smiles. Waiting for me in the realms where circumstance and mistakes couldn’t keep us apart. It was peaceful for a time. But every day I woke up in a world where you weren’t mine. Nothing more than the illusion of a lifetime with my almost lover.

So I stopped looking for you in my dreams. Message received, but I couldn't answer. I started telling myself hope was a clever ploy to trap the lovers who had no one else to steal their hearts. Thank you for the liberation from that; I’d carry my heart back to its resting place, but she is beyond my reach. Too many close calls playing with fire that always burned through. I noticed the butterflies are dying. They sputter angrily against the ribbed cages, but never cross my lips. You left my lips thin. Anger like mine could blow you speechless. My breath lost its lift. I didn’t even get to mold an “I love you”, before you gave up chance. It was clear - it was everything it looked like and nothing more. Been glass on the edge, been drinking spirits without consultation. I just hope it was worth the sip. Never dreamt you’d be a loner.