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One Time My Shoelace Came Untied

And I cried for weeks

By Hillery D. KeeferPublished 7 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - May 2023
55
One Time My Shoelace Came Untied
Photo by Brittany Colette on Unsplash

Until my mama found me in the park and tied them for me

But it was too late, I was dead already

Cold and blue

With puss coming out of my eyesockets

And the fillings leaking out of my teeth

I don't know how that started to happen

But it did

Maybe it was too hot and the sun melted them

Or something whatever

But my mama did tie my shoes

So now I can be buried and have my face look nice

Maybe I'll be put in with the rest of the X-Files

I swear I just saw Scully poking around in my innards

I wish she'd leave my intestines alone though

'Cuz that just looks funny and makes me laugh

It reminds me of how I used to eat hot dogs in the park

They were yummy

Not as bloody, though, as the intestines that is

But they did taste fairly good

With ketchup, mustard, and onions squeezing out the bottom

Like when you have some kind of strange bowel movement

When it drops on the ground it all looks like diarrhea

And then some dog comes to lick it up

He must like it a lot, because he always begs for more

I like Scully

I wish she'd tied my shoes for me.

sad poetry
55

About the Creator

Hillery D. Keefer

Hi! ^_^

My name is Hillery, with an 'e.' Nice to meet you. I'm new here but I've been writing poetry and flash fiction since I was a child. I like to write in the way that I think, so I guess it's kind of stream-of-consciousness at times.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  2. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  4. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (25)

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  • James Keefer26 days ago

    Super good, and super sad😭😭😭 A good dark that hits you in the tummy 👍🏼

  • Grz Colm7 months ago

    Congrats on your top story!! I commented earlier but I’m glad others are enjoying your piece! 😁

  • https://vocal.media/horror/the-weird-truth-about-why-clowns-terrify-us-en1i402xd

  • Serhat Köse7 months ago

    Beautiful

  • Robbie Cheadle7 months ago

    An interesting poem.

  • Caroline Jane7 months ago

    That imagery went to so many place so quickly. A harmony of grotesque, weird, heartache and hope. Splendid stuff.

  • Whoaaa, that got so dark! I loved it! Subscribed to you!

  • Dana Stewart7 months ago

    This is other-worldly good, no fantastic! I had no idea where you were going but you tied it (see what I did there?) all together nicely. Congratulations on Top Story!

  • JBaz7 months ago

    I can never eat a hotdog again without your description popping up in my head. I guess I should thank you. Congratulations on Top Story

  • Judey Kalchik 7 months ago

    Captured my attention. I’m not one for blood and pus with my morning coffee, though. At least not until today, lol

  • Maryum Sajid7 months ago

    Nice story <3

  • Congratulations on your Top Story🎉💖✨😉

  • Tamil Paiyan7 months ago

    Good job

  • kofi ansah7 months ago

    Well done, nice story

  • Idanosimhe Ajayi7 months ago

    good work

  • Carol Townend7 months ago

    I loved this, but...I hope my mother never ties my shoe laces because she'd tie them together!

  • Kendall Defoe 7 months ago

    I like Scully, too... and I like this, and I could never have guessed where you were heading with this one. An excellent TS choice!

  • Gal Mux7 months ago

    I am still digesting this one but the imagery is very vivid. Nicely done in creating the mental image! And the sad tones...

  • Dana Crandell7 months ago

    Wow. Let me just get this out of the way: That went south in a hurry. Ok, that said, this was heart rending and damn, what imagery! Not to mention the voice you've written it in. It also doesn't hurt that I'm an old X-Files fan. Congratulations on the Top Story!

  • Melissa Ingoldsby7 months ago

    Ohh this is so terribly sad 😔 so well done ♥️

  • L.C. Schäfer7 months ago

    Congratulations on your Top Story 😁 Very vivid imagery here. Gross but excellent 👍 I love Scully, personally. I have decided, if I get another dog, s/he will be called Scully 😁

  • Babs Iverson7 months ago

    Well Done!!!💖💖💕

  • Nice story❤️😉📝

  • Grz Colm7 months ago

    Hey - That was um.. interesting😄. Still trying to think what I make of it, but it definitely captured my attention. Such a unique voice! 😊✨

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