I can’t seem to touch the floor
You save me from drowning
Yet in my mind there is still war
I felt lost in myself so I ran
I forgot that life has meaning
I gave up on life because I can
Never thought I’d stumble here
Alone yet again in my mind
Never thought in the millionth year
As if disconnecting will bring peace
I assumed I had won, even in my absence
All I did was accumulate filthy grease
Finally you came along but I’m so fucked I can’t do it right
My head is spinning and I can’t appreciate living
All I want to do is beat myself and win this fight
I can’t tell if you’re a distraction, my future or a test
Looking for peace in the middle of this noise
I can’t tell if I’m losing what could be the best
Forgive me because I can’t control all of me
The self has never been a priority
I try my best to breathe and count to three
Yet I can’t stop how I feel and what I want
Your story makes me sad and I feel for you
Still I’m stuck in my head but I act nonchalant
I don’t want to disrespect you and I understand your boundaries now
Even still I’m physical and that’s my love language
So you know why I get so frustrated when you don’t allow
When I can’t love the way I feel that I must
Loving with my actions and my body
I feel hurt even when I know it’s just
I’m sorry I can’t be everything you want and more
I’m sorry I have trouble with my self control
I wish we were more open before
Speak to me more, don’t let me sit there frustrated
My depression gets worse like that, which isn’t your fault
But this is how I am, a bit overrated
About the Creator
J. K. Anderson
An author tied to the belief that Christ is YHWH. Open minded and eager to show my wild imagination to all people. I'm not a happy writer but I'm happy to write. Doing it all for fun and a distraction from reality.
Thanks for stopping by :)
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