Ode to Toilet Paper
All the Ways we’ve Wiped!
Definitely preferable to the communal sponge
For which many hands might simultaneously lunge
Then there was the ubiquitous, solid wood stick
A reusable spatula on which we’d wipe our shit
🧻🧻🧻
In more modern times came the printed page
We’d use catalogues in this more enlightened age
Then the publications went for glossies
Much worse than using leaves or mosses
🧻🧻🧻
Finally, along came perforated paper
But the whole business remained a caper
It took 40 years till it came splinter free
Oh me oh my oh me, I’m sure we all agree!
🧻🧻🧻
From stones to sea shells and animal furs
And freezing snow with which to clean our affairs
Then the pandemic showed the world your value
And, sold out, not everyone could have you
🧻🧻🧻
All at once you were on a roll
And prices lost all control
What would we do without you
Oh humble paper for the loo?!
🧻🧻🧻
This is my entry for the Ode to the Ordinary Challenge
(I couldn’t resist the double meaning of ‘on a roll’ 😉)
About the Creator
Harmony Kent
The multi-genre author who gets write into your head
I began writing at 40 after a life-changing injury. An avid reader & writer, I love to review & support my fellow authors.
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More stories from Harmony Kent and writers in Poets and other communities.
The Voyeur's Incandescent Reasoning
The woman sat nonplussed, in the Waiting Room. In a sort of daze, looking straight ahead patiently. She had already had three small breakfast's that morning and a nip of sherry, this was not unusual she would typically wait until an hour after she took her anti-depressant and was her morning routine. She was merely following instructions she assured herself, shifted slightly in her seat and feeling a little heart burn thought, maybe she should skip lunch. Dom had said to have the task done this week. She was well used to his methods and desired to get this over and done with soon. She glanced at her watch, smiled weakly at the Receptionist who was there for a moment and then gone.
By Canuck Scriber L.Lachapelle Author6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (18)
LMAO. Nice job. It’s definitely an ordinary thing I take for granted, but wouldn’t want to live without!
HI Harmony, this is hilarious. Fabulous work.
Hilarious, but also very true. "On a roll" sure stands out but also the history trail.
"On a roll!"🤣 This one is absolutely priceless, Harmony! And now I'm wondering again, how did they actually use the 3 seashells in Demolition Man?
This had me rolling and I turned off the TV so I could read it to the mister. LOL He thought it was great, too. xoxo
Top hole Harmony. Hugs
Good fun, Harmony
Thanks for the chuckle, Harmony! You have such a wonderful way with poetic prose!
Great fun, Harmony. Such a well used item!
This is a really good one! I think I learned more than I ever knew about toilet paper...and I didn't need to know about the spatula haha. Great work!
I knew this was going to be good when I got the notification and it was! Your ode to the toilet paper is hilarious and a great entry!
You left out newspaper, did you include bushes and old clothes. Surely there was a better option tha a spatula. uck OMG. Very funny.
I thought of the pandemic the minute I saw the title. Sure enough, you evoked the memories of everybody hoarding. :-)
Very clever! I laughed out loud with this one. Bravo!
Wonderful!
That is both fun and excellent, great take on the challenge
This is terrific! I giggle-snorted my way through each clever phrase. Really now, what would we do without it? Shit would hit the fan, indeed...🤣
I can so get on board with this ode!! Clever, fun and true, loved it!