Ode to the Toilet

Oh, porcelain throne, so smooth and sturdy, you make my life so sweet,

Without your fine base to set my ass, my dump would rot in the heat.

In olden days, we did our business in the dirt,

Including both the shit and the squirt.

But in our era of indoor plumbing, no outhouse, bush, or hole is needed,

Instead, we can remain indoors when our waste is ceded.

So, I wander to my fancy en-suite,

And take my place on the high white seat.

Fresh tissue paper wipes me clean,

Such a handy convenience my ancestors could never dream.

An ordinary object in this modern world we know,

Enables our solid waste to evacuate in the flushing flow.

The loo, the head, the john, the crapper, call it what you choose,

But without the porcelain goddess in our home, our lives would be sad news!