Ode to Teenage Girlhood (Poem)

My girlhood is in

Shredded cuticles

And torn notebook pages

Ballads in my room

Where rituals take place

And the ground is littered in relics

It’s when I’m

Chanting and scheming

Under the cover

Loathing myself until I am

Obsessed with myself

Obsessed with myself until I am my God

Then preparing to detest myself

all over again

Anthemic in essence

I abhor being a teenage girl so much

That I worship it

I despise it with such intensity

That I crave it

The fixation burrows inside of my tissue

And eats away at my flesh

Until I am rotten on the inside

Until I am hollow and filthy

I await adulthood impatiently

Yet I want to remain this way forever

Stained cheeks and sallow eyes

Hot skin and fiery voice

And one day she will be gone

And I will be left to remember her

And in my remembering

I will mourn her over and over again

For her lies and for her golden hair