I ain't, ya'll. That's what you think. Ain't is somethin' we create? ME is underneath a heavy cover, a sweet retreat from your discomfort. Naw, ya'll are always down, seein' me with your jaded brow; where do I belong in your white ass dreams, layin' low, to be unseen? Ever stray to wonder why a black kid feels a little shy? I shine, I shine; OH, how Momma sees me shine. I sit waitin' for the bus, after seein' my therapist; cops are called 'cause I am readin' 'bout the struggle and am grieving. I am BLACK, I am BROWN, I am whatever ya'll puttin' down. I am GAY, I am kind, you won't see ME with your dull eyes. I'd give up if it weren't for hope; Momma's love is my antidote; SHE don't give up on me, even if society....don't let me SHINE, SHINE, SHINE.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (7)
Extremely well done. I had some inner city black rappin' youth in our youth group back in Kansas City who would have been really down with your style. And they'd have loved the way you lift up Momma, who tended to be the backbone of their families.
I've been a big fan of your writing so far, but you lost me with this one, unfortunately. I know it came from a place of good intentions, but the best way to amplify black voices is to listen to them and support black artists, not use your idea of them as a caricature to raise your own voice. Read books written by black women. Watch their shows, listen to their music. Do not try to mimic them through the lens of your own perspective. It's harmful, not helpful. I do say this with love, and hope you understand my words are not intended to hurt you. I'm just trying to help you see this situation from a different perspective.
This was so freaking powerful! I loved it!
ROCK, this is daring and really well done. Often, we are told not to try to write about people whose pain we haven't felt because of society's prejudices, but I think you captured it beautifully.
Great stuff, Rock. Society will try to convince some that they don't fit in, that they don't shine, but Momma is right. Shine!
I hope she feels scope to get to know herself underneath that cover! This was great.
There's such a sad ache to this but also a blaze of anger that anyone is treated this way. Powerful and painful, both.