My Time

Once again thrown in my face

You're living a life that you are trying to replace

Each moment of every day... me trying to improve myself in every way

Why? Why... do I keep trying for something I believe to be more

Am I really expecting to live a life that feels better because it's near the shore?

This is so frustrating on every level and each new path

My past is a joke, for the most part, that makes me laugh

Yet, I am so proud of how far I have come

How could I not be

Yet, those I love most are still mocking me

Like I am some joke or escape of what reality is

Come on, guys... you are my kids

Like it or not, for the times I checked out due to trauma

You still had a bad ass mama

Always looking out for you and styling your clothes to the best

Yet, you have no idea how much she just needed the rest

For her mind to silent so she didnt feel bad

As she did each day stuggling to give you all she had

Yeah... some moments weren't the best

But neither were you

Maybe before you judge you should walk a mile in your mom's shoes

Not a statement seeking attention or pity

Just so tired of the un-welcoming committee

What would I do if I could redo it all

It shaped who I am

So laugh today, and yet tomorrow you might feel different

When you see my goal as Author becomes permanent

Look, it wasn't my greatest show or a highlight in my life

But... for what things were... I believe I did what I thought was right

So I love you from the bottom of my heart

Even for judging me on a life that was always not that of ease

I tried my best to always put you first and give you a life that would appease

So... riddle me this and riddle me again

I admit my wrongs, and love my strengths...

So please forgive me... if that is a sin