My Rose
A poem of coming to age and healing generational trauma
Raised by a young girl
Lost in the world
But I didn’t want that to be herstory
She deserved so much more glory
But before this baby girl could find words
You took your hurt
Painted it all over her life
She barely could create a chapter
So this is not going be your happily ever after
27 years
She’s here mothering the child in her
Hoping it’s not too late
Hoping that child did not fade away
So don’t be angry at her for not having the words to say
To explain this pain
The generation before bore
She carries the burden to release it
She prays to god for a way for her to ease it
Cuz Her soul went mute
Before She could learn her truth
She only knew your narrative of your life
It was burned deep inside
No wonder She could only see your reflection in every mirror
Everyone only saw your face in hers
In her confusion of this fucked up illusion
She tried to save you in the ways She deserved
She carried your frustration and disappointment
Tried to be the healing to your trauma
Tried to save you from your own mama
Just young girl raising another
Who couldn’t find her own mother
Damn the weight She lives under
The ways She learned to survive it
Shouldn’t not be judged
You have no idea the nightmares she had to run from
So today I speak for the one
Who cannot find the language of her pain
She become hard and cold
Because warmth of love and protection with the song of affection
Never made it’s way to her heart
26 years the rose grew in the dark
But light of god found it’s way in
So now this baby girl found a way to breathe again
She slowly unfolds and loosens the grip of her fist
Learning the violence she screamed was only tears no one took time to understand
Her movement her dance is a song of the cage bird
That no one heard
So here I am mothering her
In the best way I can hoping I end this motherless generation
Cuz only god can understand what it’s done to her
So in this prayer that I all heal the pain that’s there
I hope in quiet moments gods love covers my heart
Because I deserve way more than for me to hide the pain in the dark
I hope you can breathe again but till then
I need my space for me cuz this ain’t the place my heart can be
I am full of too much love to be taking anything less than your best
I am leaving behind what’s not mine and learning to tell the story of my life.
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