My Rose

Raised by a young girl

Lost in the world

But I didn’t want that to be herstory

She deserved so much more glory

But before this baby girl could find words

You took your hurt

Painted it all over her life

She barely could create a chapter

So this is not going be your happily ever after

27 years

She’s here mothering the child in her

Hoping it’s not too late

Hoping that child did not fade away

So don’t be angry at her for not having the words to say

To explain this pain

The generation before bore

She carries the burden to release it

She prays to god for a way for her to ease it

Cuz Her soul went mute

Before She could learn her truth

She only knew your narrative of your life

It was burned deep inside

No wonder She could only see your reflection in every mirror

Everyone only saw your face in hers

In her confusion of this fucked up illusion

She tried to save you in the ways She deserved

She carried your frustration and disappointment

Tried to be the healing to your trauma

Tried to save you from your own mama

Just young girl raising another

Who couldn’t find her own mother

Damn the weight She lives under

The ways She learned to survive it

Shouldn’t not be judged

You have no idea the nightmares she had to run from

So today I speak for the one

Who cannot find the language of her pain

She become hard and cold

Because warmth of love and protection with the song of affection

Never made it’s way to her heart

26 years the rose grew in the dark

But light of god found it’s way in

So now this baby girl found a way to breathe again

She slowly unfolds and loosens the grip of her fist

Learning the violence she screamed was only tears no one took time to understand

Her movement her dance is a song of the cage bird

That no one heard

So here I am mothering her

In the best way I can hoping I end this motherless generation

Cuz only god can understand what it’s done to her

So in this prayer that I all heal the pain that’s there

I hope in quiet moments gods love covers my heart

Because I deserve way more than for me to hide the pain in the dark

I hope you can breathe again but till then

I need my space for me cuz this ain’t the place my heart can be

I am full of too much love to be taking anything less than your best

I am leaving behind what’s not mine and learning to tell the story of my life.