My Heart Cringes As The Lockdown Eases

If one’s different one’s bound to be lonely. — Aldous Huxley

The Covid-19 seems to draw to the end

The numbers are dropping gradually

As the lockdown is easing

People are coming out socializing

It’s no longer like during the lockdown

Where everyone seems like a loner

As the face-to-face meeting is prohibited

Where get-together is banned

This makes me feel I am normal

* * *

Everyone is planning for get-togethers in excitement

As the festive season is drawing closer

My pressure takes up a notch each day

Not knowing where would I be

And who would I be with

Alone again in a hotel room?

Watch and hear people cheering for the new year?

Wait for him to turn up after his count-down celebration?

Because I simply can’t be seen in public with him

Or would I have a new partner that I like this year

To spend the time together on these special days?

* * *

Everyone around me has someone dear to go out with publicly

Except for me where my whereabouts are still a mystery to them

Where I will always be alone without someone next to me

Loneliness is the most terrifying thing in this world

Unfortunately, it has enslaved me under its claw

It can kill people slowly besides poverty

The truth is I do have a partner but he is invisible

He is my biggest secret and it is my secret to keep*

* * *

There are two sides of the coin in the festive seasons

It makes the lonely people feel even more lonely

The partnered people feel more joyful than usual

Some may feel blessed that they are partnered

Despite their bitterness or coldness all the years before

I’m really getting tired of being alone

It’s time that I make a decision once and for all

I DO hope that I will be happy with my final decision

* * *

* Originally published at https ://medium.com

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