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Why Am I Such A Twisted and Conflicting Soul

My ambitious character is fighting with my fragile soul

By Life LessonPublished 2 years ago 2 min read
Photo by Dids from Pexels

I’ve been ambitious since I was in my primary

It’s as though in my blood

This is my heart that’s talking:-

I want to be at the top of the brass

I want to get out of this slum here

And become well-heeled and part of the elites

Rubbing shoulders with the movers and shakers

I’ve been doing whatever I deem right

To get me to the route I want to go

However, on the other hand…

My mind is talking:-

This is too tough for me!

I’m a princess you know…I can’t go through that toughness…

It’s a bloody route to go up there…

I need to be pampered…

Then my emotion is yelling:-

No! I’m too sensitive!

One’s unfriendly glance at me will make me want to cringe to the corner…

I can’t handle the harshness in this world…!

I’m too thin-skin to be proactive…

Then my body starts complaining:-

No… I’m not strong enough to handle all these long hours of hard work!

I get tired easily…

I can’t work extra hard as it exhausts me and I’ll fall sick…

Then my IQ is talking sheepishly:-

Er…I’m not smart enough you know…

I’m a slow learner with poor memory…

Then my EQ starts talking too:-

I’m not in good mood most of the time!

I’m like matches, highly flammable with just a stroke!

My heart signs…’ Huh!…we are all not in sync, how to make this happen?’

Then Fate raises her hand and says:-

Nope! This is not my plan for you…

Unless you can fight with grit and win me over.

You must outsmart me in all areas, otherwise, you won’t stand a chance at all!

Then Karma starts talking now:-

Don’t ever forget me, I’m the grandmaster of all destiny.

Without my mercy, you will never get past me!

Unless I’m touched by your kindness.

Your heart, your mind, your emotion, your body, your fate is all under my fingers.

They are a combo to test your will and grit. I know… I know it’s an extremely contradictory combo.’ She smiles gently.

Show me what you’re made of, and I shall show you your rewards.

Let me warn you first though — it won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible.’ She grins.

It may take you almost your whole life to learn all these life lessons.

This is the purpose of your coming to this world in this lifetime.

To continue your lesson and pick up what you’ve left off in your previous lifetime.

You’ll understand at a point in your life — all things happen for reasons, and you’ll thank me for that.


Look at the half-filled glass as half full, not half empty. Learn to find out your strengths and weaknesses to see your real potential and make the right choices, and work on your weaknesses to enjoy the sweetness of victory. Talk to your trusted family members or friends to get their opinion on you for better decision-making.

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”

~ Jim Rohn

* Originally published at https ://medium.com

☘️ Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this story, please hit the Heart(above left corner) and Subscribe button, you can follow me on Twitter @MLifeLesson, and if you want to help me create more content, please consider leaving a tip or being a pledged subscriber. 🧡

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About the Creator

Life Lesson

Life inspirations and stories from my 50 years of journey on earth. Twitter @MLifeLesson 🚗 [email protected] ☘️

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