My Bestfriend

February 10th 1993 I was born into a home filled with love and compassion. How I know this? Well from the time that I could remember all I knew was love and kindness. Love is my parents and siblings always being there for me and showing me that no matter what they will always have my back and my best interest no matter what even if it was something that I didn’t agree with. Growing up I was a fathers baby lol I loved both parents equally, it’s just that me and my pops had a bond that I never had with anyone else. Everywhere he goes I’m there , he goes to the mail box I’m with him, to the grocery store I’m there helping. He even once said as a baby I was glued to his hip and he couldn’t go to the bathroom without me. Ps. He used different words but I’m going to try my best to keep this clean ( boy I couldn’t take a s*** in peace without you ) lol . I remember days he would come pick me up from school if he got off early we would go grab something to eat and just sit and talk about life. He would do all of my siblings ( his kids ) the same but on some days he wanted to give us all a one on one session to see how we were all doing without the next sibling in our business just our little secrets. Yea he lived at home with us but quality time with each individual meant everything to him. He would wake us up early on Saturdays and or sundays just to take a road trip to a little town in Georgia called Madison aka morgen county, That’s where he worked and that’s where most of his friends lived. We would go cook on the grill with his friends and listen to old school music such as jazz and blues. On the way we would all stop at the parks on the way just to look at animals or to feed the ducks maybe even just to chill and enjoy the fresh air, we would stop for lunch and ice cream basically we just injoyed ourselves just a little more bonding. He was always there... although we all had a bond we also all shared something separate, he was great with keeping our secrets he was our go to when we messed up in life or even when we just needed advice, no matter if he was at work he was just one phone call and one lunch break away. Our mom was there aswell but our dad was the go to she was the strict one. But don’t get it confused my dad would get you if he knew you was messing up that bad but communication STRONG communication was his thing. Grades and progress reports was big with him, as long as you’re trying and it shows then everything else was ok. All he did was work and provide, enjoy life, and be happy. This man was a grill-o-Hollic he loved BBQ, anything that could be grilled he did it, it seemed to be a three days out of the week thing for him. A little big man from Arkansas born and raised in a small town with nothing but farms and one truck stop he sure did know how to do everything with so little resources growing up. I love that guy. He’s my role models and everything in a dad I want to be. Protective, a great listener, hard working and energetic. He would call my phone six times in two minutes just to talk lol and I answered each call he was just always worried about us and wanted to make sure that everything was ok. So much more I could say to describe him but that would take the rest of my life to do. He gave me so much hope and motivation that everything that I do now I can say that it’s only because of him. The more I type the more I cry, but this is the key to me moving forward and sharing this with others is taking some pain away but I can still feel most of it. Man If he was still here he would yell boy stop that, wipe them tears away and stop that crying, But sometimes the tears help. There’s so much More to this story but I can only do so much at a time considering I don’t have windshield wipers on my face to swipe the hurt away. Though he’s in a better place I still question god everyday to understand why he had to call my bestfriend, my backbone, my right hand and my reason why home so early. One more conversation with him is all I need and one day i will get it, just one last hug and I will be ok ( although he didn’t like hugs ) that’s the missing piece to my pain. One day. Although this is not a goodbye this is a break thats from a distance that I wasn’t prepared for that keeping me from moving forward but for you dad I’m going to keep pushing ahead just like you would. My best friend I love you.

( To Be Continued )