Monster in my heart

Trapped

The feeling I’ve become aquatinted with today. The slow aching feeling where I just don’t fit in, the feeling where I’m trapped in a box around me….

Everyday that I live I think that everyone is just a selfish person.Does anyone realize that no one cares about anyone? Everyday we have to live a life for ourselves….. when we’re in pain.

Eveyone says they will be there but that’s pure BULLSHIT you’re here alone in this world and people are just here to make it better….

The slow and aching pain feeling like a monster has taken over my body. My mouth is taped shut,my body is a frozen statue,my head aches and feels like little shards of glass around it. This is the slow and aching pain of silence…..

Silence.

When it’s dark at night and calm you don’t need to physically work…. It’s when all your stresses.hardships and demons comes to haunt you….

The feeling of being thrown in a box with my hands behind my back all tied up,my mouth taped shut and my body weak.

Here

Here I lay in this box all cramped up when the only thing I need to do is pick myself up…..

The slow and steady breaths,

I breathe in I breathe out. Thinking that todays problem will be gone but will actually turn into tomorrows problem and the day after…. The slow and steady breaths of a monster that can’t seem to escape this feeling…..

An hour glass…..

The slow and steady rhythm of the sand rushing down to the surface only to find out when all is finished to turn back over and start again… it’s like barrel after barrel I flip over only to find out nothing is in them…..

A cave in the Forrest is what I want right now. Let me set up my blanket near the river and watch the starry sky as I begin to feel my body let loose my eyelids begin to close and my body rests in peace here until the morning……

Until tomorrow where my demons awaken…..