Mirror on the Wall

Mirror on the Wall

How I wish you’d break and fall

Showing me all my weakest flaws

I used to look at you in grandeur and wonder.

Now I scurry past your pristine figure.

~

Why is it that you never reveal the sadness?

The madness trapped within darkness.

Why do you even care?

~

Staring into your shimmering glass,

I see the eyes of a young girl staring back at me.

I see pain, anger, hatred, hurt, and longing.

I see a girl wishing to be rescued.

I see a girl wishing to be loved and cared for.

~

For once, there’s a desire, a need,

To take the girl into my arms and shield her from life.

My hands reach out.

I feel the warmth of her small hand in mine.

And then she’s gone.

~

Staring at me, reaching out is a young woman.

A young woman whose been scared.

A young woman whose been broken.

It was always someone who should have protected her.

It was always someone she loved.

Her hand reaches out to me, fiercely gripping at my wrist.

Will she pull me in?

~

Will the madness drown me?

Her hand fades away.

Looking back, I see my reflection.

I see the joy, the laugh lines that linger around my eyes.

I see the pain, the tears lingering.

Waiting to spill over onto my cheeks.

Yes, I do believe this is it.

This will be the time.

I take a blanket and cover the mirror.

I can’t stand to look at myself.

I can’t stand up against the bad.

I can’t welcome the good.

~

There’s only a sickening void within me.

An angry spirit that wishes to take the mirror and shatter it against the floor.

It’s heavy, like everything weighing down my soul.

It’s angry, ready to destroy.

It’s sad, ready to give in and let myself drown.

~

A scream within

Building pressure, pulling on the air in my lungs

Burning inside of my chest

Making my heart pound

Escapes past my lips

As the tears fall

As my knees hit the ground

This pain…will it ever go away?