Lovely
One Last Waltz
Held. I wiped tears from your eyes; we played your favourite song sung by Etta James. "At Last", your frail frame unfolded into my strong heart beat, not missing a step we made it almost to the end, before collapsing. Anguish pushed through a slight glimmer in your grey eyes, once again fever swept over you; I wiped your brow with a cool cloth, then like white chocolate in the afternoon sun, you melted away. Our love was a last dance, a promenade of bashful memories, tender as the fledgling free from it's warmth, flightless, featherless, starving, then fed. I longed for one dance more, yet time stole us in a heated breath; at last, you will be, forever lovely.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (44)
heartbreaking and gorgeous all at once!! Brilliant work! BRAVO!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I am happy that you stopped by my page to read because that led me to your page, and I got to read these beautiful words. "Your frail frame unfolded into my strong heartbeat." ~~ What gorgeous imagery. I felt this one in my soul.
Wow! Such sadness and comfort as it would be an okay way to die on the dance floor with a loved one.❤️Congratulations on top story! 🎉🎉🎉
Poignant! We want enduring moments, no matter the circumstance.
Lovely describes the entire piece. Beauty is in the experience of the knower, as I like to say, and here you demonstrate an ability to reveal your inner experience of it so well in its warmest, tenderest, most fragile way. Rumi or Kahlil Gibran could not have done better, and nod approval from the immortal realms! Subscription reciprocated! I will add this one to my CREATION MYTH! https://vocal.media/poets/creation-myth-m8dm0x8d
This article captures the essence of love and loss in a devastating way, and it is extremely heartbreaking yet wonderfully written.
Omgosh this is heartbreaking but also do beautiful
Your poem is beautiful
You've managed to uplift my spirits while breaking my heart. Brilliant work!
Beautifully written and straight to the heart. What talent!
You have written so many beautiful stories your story is admirable please visit my vocal id and read a story please
This is beautiful.
This really is lovely!🥰
Good work poem
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
The dance of life...my heart is still recovering. Congrats on this wonderful top story
Congrats on Top Story! Great work!
Congrats on Top Story.
The song, the dance, the words, the emotion were brilliant and lovely!!! Love it!!!♥️♥️💕 Congratulations on Top Story too!!!
Parents are consecrating for us all the day. If we are able to see that, the parents and we, both are lucky.
Great writing!
Congrats on Top "forever lovely" Story.
Is this THE story? It is beautiful. Congratulations. 🥰
Beautiful, sad and lovely all at the same time
This broke my heart, but filled me with love at the same time. Congrats on top story, it so so deserves it.