Love From...

There is no beginning to my feelings

No point where I made a decision

Or making a conscious choice

To be how I am now, this is me.

It’s who I am and how I have

Always existed inside.

Just now, residing on the surface,

What was beneath and buried before,

The change is visible, it is clear and known.

Look into my eyes, it’s right there to see,

The shine, the sparkle, their life now filled.

Smiles before, off and wrong. False;

Lacking hope, life - a smile of lies,

Slathered on by 'me' like coats of paint,

Only to peel and crack, falling away

In moments, alone.

Now true and full - sincere lifting of lips.

Joy for the first time without effort and work,

Inside there is self worth, not felt before;

As if for the first time, meeting my true self,

I know the me now, and I love that me.

Now I see me.

The ‘me’ from before is gone, their job is done;

Their work and protection, a time of great pain.

A time of hurt, of pain, a time of sacrifice from ‘me’,

To save me; so grateful for what they have done;

I will always love that ‘me’ for getting us this far,

Getting me here so I can live free, with true life;

Seeing a point to forward motion, each step

With purpose. No more steps backward.

Only forwards.

Living into a brighter and joyous future owned by me,

No longer bound, no longer trapped beneath myself.

Before, there was no start, just one likely end for ‘me’,

Now a new start, a restored life and horizon for me.

A chance to be alive, the chance to bravely go on,

No end in sight.