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Lost

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By MkatPublished 26 days ago 1 min read
Lost
Photo by Finding Dan | Dan Grinwis on Unsplash

Maybe this world is just too dense

Or maybe it's me

I was born on the coldest week of january

2 weeks late

I was supposed to be great

My akashic records just won't let me be

But i know deep down it's this current version of me who won't let me be

Her best self.

"You don't deserve it" some nasty voice says from within

It wants me to stay small, to keep my light dim

"You know how it goes..."

"Always a massive disappointment.."

Even when the most perfect person comes along...

I still find a way to sabotage it

I can't explain it

I'm far beyond sick and tired of it.

At this point, I don't even have words for it.

It is such a hideous destructive resistance

The ego

The ego only wants to stay alive

Not to thrive

Because thriving puts an ex on your back

And my akashic records...

My karmic ties

Always the same dreadful past life

Always the same old unchanged me in the mirror

But that was then and this is now

And yet, I struggle to receive

To take that leap of faith

Sometimes even to believe

To make my life the best possible life

In the here and now

I really wish i could have been that joan of arc figure

I really wish..

I wish i could run into battle with nothing but the faith of god

But even more so that I could open myself to pure love

To finallly just surrender

No expectations, no judgement

Just pure love

No mind to get in the way

No thoughts at all

Just me, you and love

Yeah that's all I ever wanted

And now without it

I'm so lost.

sad poetrylove poems

About the Creator

Mkat

...on the spiritual path...

om

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Comments (2)

  • shanmuga priya26 days ago

    The lines Always the same dreadful past life Always the same old unchanged me in the mirror. I liked the most

  • Andrea Corwin 26 days ago

    aww so sad. Resonating lines and true: The ego only wants to stay alive Not to thrive

MWritten by Mkat

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