Letter to my Soul Brother

Last year I went into the desert for a Vision Quest, with my soul Brother Christian Oliver. Unfortunately he died in January after the plane where he was travelling crashed in the Caribbean with her two daughters. I wrote this letter that today I share with you all .

May he rest in peace, may he be at home.

Dear Christian,

Everything was magical with you, since the first minute I listened to your voice.

I didn't know anything about you.

But my soul remembers you, My soul sees you.

My soul found the key right away to open your heart, take all the walls away and listen. Deeply listen to your silence, your words, your pain, your heart, your true self.

We were like brother and sister finally together. So many synchronicities.

When I arrived to Los Angeles, without any idea of how I was going to arrive to the quest you were there.

We have these mindful and deep conversations .

You help me with everything, you drive me in your car and by the time we arrive to the Desert we were already old friends.

In Your eyes I saw memories of many life times.

And you also triggered me, who were you?
But all your characters and roles fall apart.

You open your heart and share your true being, your deepest sorrows, your deepest fears, and your dreams.

Everything was intense and fast but my voice, my chanting could take you to that calm space within you in a second.

We cried together, we lit the fire all night, we saw many faces in the fire, and we tried to unravel this mystery of life.

We watch the stars, the moon, the ancient and invisible ocean on that land of mystery.

I teach you to breath, to slow down, I take your pain of your back away .

We cook together, as I had never cooked with anyone, we play with spices and I try to teach you to eat healthy.

We take Manuka honey and chocolate.

You said I was a pro in camping even if it was the first time, but the true is that I was scare as fuck and because of you I made it through.

You helped me to come back to my body in the sweet lodge when I was burning.

I was lost far away.

I couldn't see anything but I could feel and listen to your calling.

I could feel your strength and this masculine energy present there heals me.

You were my team in the Vision Quest.

We take care of each others in silence, in the distance.

We write messages in the sand for each other.

We put flowers and magical stones.

We were like 2 kids playing to be warriors, with our innocence and fears and we went through.

I taught you a mantra of protection when we went in the car …. I told you to use it every time you travel.

Why don't you listen to me?? Why couldn't I protect you as you protect me?

I am sorry, please forgive me , I am grateful, I love you.

Please go home now.

Please go home now.

Don't stay stuck here, I need you as a warrior of light .

Please go home now.

Don't stay stuck here, don't be a hungry ghost, that is not what you deserve.

Please leave your sorrows, pain, guilt, responsibilities, debts, problems, behind.

Please leave everything behind, in the deepest of that ocean, In that plane.

Use it as a grave for all that is not you.

For all that needs to die.

All your fears, all your anger, all your control, surrender my love, surrender.

Trust me, please trust me.

There is so much waiting for you.

Your angels , your babies are showing you the way.

Many people are praying for you.

In India, in many countries.

Because you deserve IT.

BECAUSE YOU DESERVE ALL OUR LOVE AND DEVOTION.

Trust your spirit, the sound of your soul.

Follow the song of your soul.

Go home and be the warrior of light that I know you are.

Use your strength to guide others.

Be an ancestor of light and love as your grandfather.

Seek for his help.

I am sorry I couldn't protect you, my sweet brother.

I am so sorry.

But Here I am, if you need me, I will always be.

And I know this love can sustain many life times.

So next time please find me and we can go to India together.

Thank you for all the memories that we share.

Thank you being who you are,

Thank you for being today in the clouds today. For listening to my chanting.

For going to the light and keep travelling.

You are not alone.

Go home.

Be well, be light, be at peace.

I love you.

Your sister

Gabriela Ana

Holistic Health Coach