le père

You fucked your little girl's life up, now she's a woman trying for a better future.

Even if you don’t want to believe it you destroyed me.

Every action you made was completely against me.

Make your own daughter wait only to prove nothing.

Hoping that maybe you would love me someday.

Happy on Monday, gone on Tuesday.

Waiting months to hold your own baby.

Disappearing so abruptly left my mom going crazy.

Not knowing how to handle her three little babies.

Working three jobs to support their needs.

No help from you. I am on my knees.

Broke me down with all the lies and manipulation.

Can't figure out how you could do this so easily.

I wish I knew you because I love you.

Sad to think you don’t even know my favorite color.

Didn’t teach me how to ride a bike when I was younger.

Made me scared to love as I got older.

Had to grow without you couldn’t stay sober.

You destroyed my heart and crushed it with a boulder.

Of depression and anxiety only weighing on my shoulders.

Now I have issues that grew to be stronger.

Hoping that one day you might want to know me.

My favorite movie or favorite song.

I was so wrong.

To have hope in someone who left us so cold.

And alone, only to fill his life with her and her own.

I miss you.

And the things we used to do..

Ride around all day and laugh continuously.

‘I only have three memories of just us daddy…’ said 8 year old me.

How sad to know you lost all of us that day?

The day you walked out and let us slip away.

Have no memory of you as I grew older.

Wondering how you couldn’t love your own daughter…

We did it without you now we are older..

But the scars stay hidden because of the what ifs..

What if you loved us and never left us alone?

But no you had to go and fuck it all up..

Making us do it all on our own.

Stronger now because I’m grown.

Still can’t help it, I want to know..

What's it like to grow up with a fathers love instead of being on my own?