It's Not Okay

I can still feel his hands on my body.

Cold rough hands,

on my warm soft skin.

Slowly pushing my shirt up.

I slap his hand away.

He is now caressing my face.

Inching his lips towards mine.

His greedy lips press onto my face,

then my ear,

and now my hand.

I push him off.

He gets closer,

whispers, "No one has to know".

I scream no.

Push myself away.

My knees to my chest.

I am shaking.

A tear rushes down my face.

He wipes it away.

"It's okay" he says.

But it isn't.

His hands always wanting more.

Beer lingers in his breath.

I knew I shouldn't have let him in,

but I did.

The guilt trickles down my face.

He is back.

His lips press onto my cheek.

He leaves.

I cry,

I shake.

I blame myself,

my brain cannot think.

I cannot stop crying.

I wipe my tears.

My heart pounds.

I finally fall asleep.

He comes in the morning.

I am terrified.

I tell him to stop.

He does not listen.

I tried,

I fought.

I couldn't fight anymore.

I couldn't talk.

All I did was shake.

I can still feel his hands on my body.

Slowly inching up my shirt.

I push him away,

I sit and I shake.

15 Years-Old

So this happened to me when I was 15-years-old. It was one of my darker times in life and its one of my skeletons in my closet. Now being 15 years old and scared I did not think to tell anyone and I still haven't besides my closest friends and so this poem was created in hopes to rid myself of the feeling of being sexually assaulted. I hope you guys take this to heart and I hope we can rid the world of people who do not understand that no means no.