Irreplaceable Things

IRREPLACEABLE THINGS

It is not easy when I try to call for you,

It feels wrong,

You are not the person I thought you were so the syllables in your name don't seem to make sense,

My throat closes up,

My brain asks "who are you calling?",

My heart, my weak weary heart, attempts to defend itself by releasing thunder-like electricity when it pumps,

But all it is....is broken.

I am in more pain that words can explain,

So I don't try to explain,

But all I know is I want you to fix it,

I...need you to fix it,

How do you not know nothing else matters?,

How do you not know my attempts of punishing you by my silence cuts me like a knife?,

How do you not know I am not okay?,

How do you not know all I want is to feel warm?

I try to be the bigger person,

Trying to apologize to you for your mistakes,

Making up reasons as to why it might be my fault,

But, something about the fact that you did what you did knowing it would hurt me won't allow me to,

Yet, regardless, I want you to know that despite the redness of my eyes,

Despite the cold I've absorbed from the dark corner of my room,

Despite the night's I stayed up trying to solve problems that aren't my own,

I need you to come back,

I need you to come home.

~