Insecurities

Insecurities…I carry.

Some big and some small.

Insecurities…I bury.

I can’t confront them all.

Everywhere I go and everything I do,

Insecurities are there telling me the truth.

I have to listen to what they say.

Yes, this is a must.

Because they’re the only one’s,

Who have ever gained my trust.

They may lie a little.

But for the most part, they speak true.

I have a shit ton of insecurities.

How about you?

→ We all carry insecurities. I don’t think I’ve ever met one person who was 100% secure with themselves or the life they lived or the job they worked, etc. I’m used to my insecurities now. Somedays are worse than others. I think of insecurities as “tough love.” Like maybe if my insecurities tell me I’m not pretty enough, I’ll actually do my hair or makeup. Or maybe if they tell me I’m too big, I’ll go on a diet. Or if they tell me I’m too small, I’ll eat more, etc. Sometimes we can’t do anything about our insecurities though. Then what? Then I guess we are just stuck and living insecure for the f-ck ever. Or we learn to live with it. It’s up to us. Maybe if people were more accepting of someone as to who they were, rather than what they looked like, then it wouldn’t really matter. Oh well.

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I hate that every BEAUTIFUL person I meet, I think about how awesome it would be to have beautiful hair like that. Or flawless skin! Less of a belly! Amazing legs! There are so many flawless people in my eyes compared to myself that I got very down mentally, analyzing and comparing everyone to myself. Which was the worst thing I could have done.

I am me. Nobody else can or will ever be me. We are all irreplaceable. We are all our own person. And if you hate how you look, welcome to the club. I guess at least I can say I love myself for my heart, most days.

Then I find myself questioning my actions or rude comments I may make when I’m pissed or anxious. Like man, I really am ugly inside and out huh? Then I’m back to square one. Questioning myself. Insecurities creep back in. Because they win. They’ll always win.

The picture below, is my most relatable expression to this subject. Enjoy.