Images of Me

Dad, Image is all that matters to you

And how other people’s accomplishments, success and looks

Reflect on you; and make you look important by association

Because you have really done nothing in your own life.

Your familial and toxic narcissism made you rush into two marriages

Based on physical attraction alone and how

These women reflected you to the world

And beautiful woman can be so vulnerable.

So you never took time to get to know either one

But damn, you did know how to zero in

On their insecurities so that you could charm, woo and win them over

Making them think you were capable of love

But you don't know how to love

And what you offer is not love.

That’s narcissism

Toxic narcissism

“You need to lose weight.” “You look like hell.”

“You are embarrassing me.””Put some damn makeup on.”

And your favorite insult of all was

"You can just go to hell."

How many times have you told me this?

How many times did I hear you say that to your wife?

Words my mother and I heard over and over throughout the years.

Constantly belittleed

Never a compliment,

Never any thanks

You pushed away any attempt to get a hug

There never any affection coming from you

Never any appreciation

Just lots of cold, cold, cold lies and disapproval

All from a man who never accomplished anything his entire life

Except to learn how to piggyback onto the successful lives of others

You know you are not good enough for yourself

How could you be good for anyone else?

You don't know how to love

And what you offer is not love.

That’s narcissism

Toxic narcissism

We never truly mattered to you

You have always let me know I had no value or worth to you

Unless I was opening my wallet

To cover your tabs or bills for you and Mother

Because the overdrafts from the bank were filling your mailbox daily

Everything has a price for you

You always made it clear, Mom was a paycheck for you

Enabling you to live a lifestyle

Your lack of ability, ambition and intelligence

prevent you from achieving

I can't help but remember

The last thing you said to me when I was trying to explain how I was hurt...

"You can just go to hell.”

So to that, Daddy, I say, "Great, we’ll do lunch, See you there."

- Julie O'Hara

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