~ If I didn’t have a heart ~

I wonder what it’d be like

To live without a heart

I often wish mine gone

On the days it’s ripped apart

I detest this love I have

A true curse it is to care

What has my heart ever done

Other than bring forth despair

My heart has bled a thousand times

And yet it just won’t quit

I love and love and love some more

Although my heart is split

The pain is never ending

A constant ache within my chest

I just can’t help but wonder

How things would be without this pest

I’m sure they’d be much better

Imagine all that I could do

A heartless person is a lucky person

I’m sure that this is true

If I didn’t have a heart...

I’d have everything my way

I’d not care for whom I hurt

If it meant I would succeed

I’d put a child’s face in dirt

I’d rob banks and take the money

I’d lie and cheat and steal

It wouldn’t matter if I were hated

After all, I couldn’t feel

I’d be head of a large corporation

Treating my employees like crap

I’d then buy a fancy car

And park where it said “handicap”

I could be a politician

Lie some more to get to the top

Then I’d use tax payer money

To treat myself to a well earned shop

I’d succeed, I’d thrive, I’d prosper

Put myself first everyday

No person in the world

Would ever get in my way

If I didn’t have a heart...

I’d never know the pain

Of losing someone dear to me

I’d not know what it is like

To cry so hard that I can’t see

I’d never have to stare

In the mirror with tear filled eyes

I’d never clench my teeth

Whilst attempting not to cry

My forearm would be bare

Not a single line in sight

I’d never touch a blade

And my arm would just stay white

The nightmares would surely stop

As would the guilt, regret, and shame

I’d never have to worry

About perpetual self-blame

Never would I feel

The emptiness I feel right now

Wishing so hard to be better

But just not knowing how

If I didn’t have a heart...

I’d sit alone in my office

I’d have no real friends

I’d be that colleague no one liked

And so I’d spend and spend

I’d hope that cash would buy

Some form of happiness

And sure I’d have a house

But love I’d not possess

I’d eat my fancy dinner

Thinking all was great until

I’d look across the restaurant

Notice a father pay the bill

I’d see his wife stand at his side

Their three young children too

As I watched them leave together

I’d soon start feeling blue

I’d think of all I had

My fancy cars, expensive art

And yet deep down I know I’d be

Nothing without my heart