It started early in our relationship. I was naive.
My boyfriend and I went to a married friend’s (we’ll call him John) house for a small get-together with a few others to have a cook-out. The friend started to play “footsie” with me under the table. I didn’t return the affection. I was confused. I smiled; sure it wasn’t his intention. His gorgeous and kind wife was right there! I was flustered to think he would be so bold.
Another time, John and some of the guys were at our house for drinks. He followed me into the bedroom and grabbed my breasts. I said nothing, as I figured I had done something to encourage it. I realize now, with him being a married man, and me, the wife of his good friend, his behavior was intolerable, whether I had encouraged it, or not (for the record, I had not.)
The fact that I didn’t find this to be completely unacceptable behavior at the time, strikes me as odd,
The last straw is when a group of us, including his wife, went down to a couple of bars for a few drinks. At one point, his wife walked to another location with a friend, John stayed behind with us. He picked me up and grabbed my crotch! In the crowded bar, but out of sight of my husband. I told the guy this was unappreciated and unwanted behavior and to stop.
After we got home that evening, I told my wasband what his friend had done and that I was unhappy about the guy’s general “handsiness.”
My husband replied, “oh, that’s just John. It doesn’t mean anything.”
I was pretty much in shock to realize I didn’t mean much, either.
John was astounded when his wife left him.
And then, so was mine.