I Wanted the Raisins

I had a scone for lunch yesterday. Two, actually.

I thought they were raisin scones, but they turned out to be chocolate chip. Damn!

You may think that’s weird, because, as humans, it seems we’ve been trained to not want raisins, at least some of us. I’m sure you’ve seen the memes or heard the jokes about thinking you were getting chocolate chip cookies, but they turned out to be oatmeal raisin. As if that’s supposed to be some sort of disappointment.

But what if I want the raisins? What if it’s the chocolate chips that disappoint me? Would it be a crime because most people wouldn’t agree? Am I supposed to be a good little sheep, follow the flock, and only want the chocolate chip?

What if I’ve eaten chocolate chips every day this week and wanted to try something different?

Why are you judging me because I wanted the raisins?

Why are you judging me for what I look like, or how I dress, or who I vote for, for that matter?

Why are you judging me at all?

Maybe you’re not. Maybe I am. Maybe because we, as society and as individuals, have become so ingrained in what we expect from each other that we don’t even have to judge. We’ll just sit back and watch each other beat ourselves up.

Mission accomplished.

But, back to the raisins. How many times have I said “raisins” in this piece so far, and why am I so seemingly obsessed with the wrinkly little buggers that kind of look like that old picture I found of my grandma? Sorry, Nan. I loved you; I swear.

Okay. So, I wanted raisins. Chocolate chips don’t belong in scones. Raisins belong in scones. Blueberries belong in scones. So do currants and cranberries and apricots and even cheese. But not chocolate chips.

I said it again. Chocolate chips don’t belong in scones. Then I asked myself, who am I to decide where chocolate chips are allowed to go?

I mean, I got nothing against chocolate chips. I like them in cookies. I like them in cakes, and ice cream. Heck, sometimes I eat them straight out of the bag. So why can’t they go in scones? Why am I judging the chocolate chips? Clearly people like them in scones, or the bakery wouldn’t bother them to make them, right?

Reluctantly, and with much cynicism, I decided to give the scone a break. I decided to put aside my preconceived opinion and try the chocolate chip scones. And you know what? They were good.

I didn’t enjoy them as much as I would have enjoyed the raisin scones, but that may not be so much because they were different, but because they weren’t what I was expecting, what I had been looking forward to.

How pathetic, right? Aren’t we supposed to embrace change? Are we supposed to embrace diversity? Try different things? Meet different people? Travel to different places? Yet here I am, discriminating against a scone because it had chocolate chips. Jeez, that sounds weird, even in my head.

I’m thinking I might have them for lunch again today; slice them in half and spread some butter all over them. I still don’t know if I’ll get raisins or chocolate chips, or one of each, but I’ll love them just the same. I will show them the respect they deserve. I will let them know that they are welcome to be whatever they choose, even if they turn out to be different from “the norm.”

Then, I will bite their crispy little heads off to teach them a valuable lesson. That, even when their words sound as silky smooth as butter, never trust the liar who shows you the knife.

Excuse me now, I have to go murder a couple of biscuits.