I think, therefore I am

First track: Black and White.

“There’s nothing wrong,” I feel it in

my bones,

I hear it through your tired lips, disjointed with your angry eyes—

I link up to your frown as a projection and attach it to my morning.

It becomes my day.

The gentle, repetitive tap of the ivories,

The aching, grasping vocals cut through my pain,

The encapsulated sounds wrap around my neck and soothe my throat,

And his voice chills my

Humid heart,

Making my eyes open with fresh tears,

Tears that feel alive,

And that is good. I put it on repeat.

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Second track: Absolutely Quiet.

At night, late, late, late

At night, I mean,

Surrounded by nothingness, and dark

My brain is at it’s loudest, not

Because there’s anything interesting or intelligent there, but

Because it’s loud

And it hurts, all the right things I should’ve done or wrong things

I could have fixed,

Or things I might’ve said

Or should’ve known,

And then,

I just feel

Like I feel too much.

Then, I turn you on and I finally get silence.

All the rattling in

My heart

And my brain

Calms to this rhythm 🎶

And it’s just right.

It’s absolutely quiet now.

Repeat is not needed. One time, and it is

Palpable. A medicinal salve,

A release from the day—-

And a release from my mind.

————————————————

Track Three: Red Passion, fire within

I got a secret,

It’s out. Burst open.

It’s on my face:

My dreams.

Letters mashed up to make

Up my assorted friends I made up in

My head and their made up loves and woes—-but, they are real to me,

Yes, and I realize

No one really cares,

But I still write them down like my heart beat depends on it.

I hear the tortured vocals cry:

How can you offer me love like that?

My heart's burned

How can you offer me love like that?

I'm exhausted, leave me alone

And the passion rises

Up like a pained wound, a lump,

A great scar,

And I can’t fix it, no one can

Because it’s not really there.

The song hits my mouth like a punch,

But it rejuvenates

My searing will to fight.

——————————————————

Fourth Track: I’m in love again

I got it.

You are doing well with

Or without me,

But, I got news for you—

For anyone. For all of you,

I’m in love again.

Not with a person,

With something new.

It’s something inside

No one can take away,

This need to create

It takes me away into

So many plains of existence,

I never knew, and I love each and every one,

Because I can dream for awhile into

Someone else’s shoes.

I listen to it so much I can’t believe my speakers don’t break on me.

——————————————————

Sometimes I think about the summer, and

I really appreciate this song:

Track number 5, something to soothe my sadness.

Summer really gets me down,

I have always felt lonely during

Those long days,

Always,

And even when I’m around people,

I still feel that melancholy

Like a past imprint of

Intensity, stamped on my shoulder to start

Each summer,

And end once fall begins.

The feeling that I get of sadness in this song soothes my

Soul yet reminds me that I am not alone in this pain.

—————————————————

6th track: At peace.

I know every word

Of this song,

Every syllable

And it makes me feel

Like a new story

A new year

A new day

A new life

And genuinely me —-all at the same time.

—————————————————-

The 7th. Prayers.

Each breath

Feels bitter

Heavy, cold

Hot;

I cannot go on—-I will go on,

I have to go on,

I have to move on.

I pray.

I’ll just pray.

I pray: for you; me, my family, friends, people I’ll never meet, celebrities, acquaintances,

And then,

I pray some more.

And still, it feels like not enuf.

———————————————————

#8. Chillin’

I’m floating,

I’m chilling,

I’m finally done with

Something

Anything

Most of it,

And I can just vibe,

And this track is it.

———————————————-

Track number Nine. A lovely moment.

Such a good flow,

Such a pretty sunset,

Such a good sip of perfect coffee, not too hot or too cool,

And a lovely moment at the park with you and me;

Cannot be replaced.

—————————————————-

Last track. My solitude.

Darling, all I know

Are sad songs.

Maybe it feels like that because we

Are all sad.

And we can’t always show it,

So we just write it down,

Or sing it—-

And that’s how everyone

Shares it together.

A collective bargaining,

A lonely earth with lonely

People,

Who all cover it with smiles

And sad songs.