I Prefer The Noise

it was quiet today in my head

the voices had nothing to say

all the feelings of self-doubt and dread

seemed to vanish and faded away

left me thinking about things I'd forgotten

the ones all the noise had drowned out

pretty soon everything that I thought

came flooding through like an unclogged down spout

things I'd said or had been said to me

bringing smiles and an ocean of tears

the ones I let go of and casually set free

bridges still burning after all of these years

and I thought, this is not what I thought it would be

I expected so much more from my life

I decided that the problem had to be me

and began carving at me with a knife

cutting away what seemed so obvious now

those things pushing the others away

things I had completely disavowed

leading my emotions astray

until all that remained was this smile

the one that reassures you - I'm fine

the one that bewitches and beguiles

the one I have used all this time

In the silence, I soon missed the voices

chaotically keeping the quiet at bay

keeping me from feeling all my choices

originating this internal melee